Everything is Unexpected
by FicsOnFridays6
Summary: In the midst of chaos, Alec gets an illness, which he may not survive from. Clary had been dreaming about Sebastian for a while. What happens when she realizes that she's pregnant, and Idris has a rule that people can only have two kids, what happens? Is it Alec's or Seb's? Can she handle the stress of not knowing the difference between her dreams and reality? Sequel to my 1st fic
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my faithful readers, and welcome to new ones!**

 **For people who are new here, Let's recap: Basically, Clary falls in love with Sebastian, he dies, then she falls in love with Alec. For more info, read "That Was Not Expected."**

 **To those who have read "That Was Not Expected," welcome back! Thank you to Ruth M who gave me the idea. This story is dedicated to her. Thanks for all the love and support!**

 **Okay, I just want to state that I have never been pregnant and don't have experience with the topic, even though I've just finished researching it heavily, I understand that each pregnancy is different, so please don't be offended if I mess anything up. Also, I don't allow any hate.**

 **AGES**

 **Clarissa Adele Morgenstern-Lightwood: 33 years old(Tryna make her young as possible)**

 **Alexander Gideon Lightwood: 35 years old**

 **Christopher Jonathan Lightwood(Like the name?): 15 years old**

 **Lily Seraphina Lightwood: 6 years old**

 **Xavier Penhallow-Herondale: 15 years old**

 **Meg(Chris' girlfriend): 16 years old**

 ***disclaimer. I don't own the Mortal Instruments characters, and I never will.***

 **Let's get on with the story!**

 **~Sara**

 _/dream, or is it?/_

" _Clary." A familiar voice whispered. The sense deja vu blew up in her mind, but she just couldn't place where she'd heard the voice before. "Clary, it's me."_

 _Alec's warm hands that usually protected her were gone. She started to reach for her stele, but a hand stopped her._

" _Look at me, Clary." The hands moved up towards her cheeks, and he was cupping her face. "Don't you remember me?"_

 _His eyes were black._

Clary gasped as she opened her eyes. She hadn't dreamed of Sebastian since he'd died.

"What's wrong, Rissa?" Alec mumbled from next to her.

She shook her head. Alec didn't need to know about this. "It's nothing."

 **Time skip, couple weeks later.**

"When's Meggie coming over again?" Lily asked her older brother, who paled slightly.

"Oh-um-soon, I promise." He replied uneasily.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Clary asked in a worried tone. "Should I be concerned?" Chris hadn't been talking about her lately. Then again, this was the first time he'd ever dated anyone.

"No, mom." Chris answered back in a tone that said that he didn't want to talk about it. "Anyway, Xavier's coming over in a sec, so…"

"You didn't tell me about this." Clary and Alec said in unison, and then they both laughed.

"But what about MEGGIE!" Lily started to screech, but the door swung open with a crying Xavier.

"Welcome Xavier Herondale into your household!" He yelled, twice as loud as Lily. Usually, he would say this in a cheerful voice, but today, it was angry.

Alec coughed. Chris immediately broke the silence to drag Xavier upstairs and into his room.

"What's wrong, Xav?" Chris asked him in a worried voice. Xavier never cried.

"We broke up, Chris. L-liam broke up with me." His shoulders started to shake. "I-I n-never knew-t-that he would c-cheat."

Xavier's blue eyes seemed to be dimmed, as if the cheerfulness inside them had been stolen. His blonde hair was wet from the rain outside, and he was shivering from the cold air. This was unnatural. Xavier was the one that was always smiling, always cheering Chris up, not the other way around.

Chris was so unused to it that he almost laughed. Instead, it was Xavier who laughed brokenly.

"I look so stupid." Xavier slowly choked out, "I should be angry, not crying like a fucking baby."

Chris looked at his best friend. "You don't have to be strong all the time. There are times when even the strongest people need to cry."

"I know, I know." Xavier looked up at Chris. "It's just-I'm the one who always comforts you." He laughed bitterly.

"I wonder what's going on with Chris…" Alec whispered to Clary. "What do you think happened?"

"Should we ask?"

"I don't know...it seems like it's his business, not ours. I mean, would you have wanted your parents to stick their noses in your issues when you were his age?" Clary said.

"When I was 15, I was…" Alec cleared his throat. "We're not going to talk about that."

"Anyway, I have to use the bathroom." Clary said, walking away.

"Are you okay, Clary?" Alec asked in a worried tone. "You've been going to the bathroom a lot for he past couple of weeks."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just feel a bit tired." Clary replied.

Sirens flooded through the silent roads of Alicante, causing Clary to jump. There was only one thing that this could be. A demon attack, which hadn't happened in years.

"Mom, what's going on?" A voice came from above the staircase.

"Everybody, stay calm. Stay calm, and come over here. Chris, bring your stele and your bow." Alec said in a commanding tone. "There's a demon attack." It wasn't Chris and Clary that he was most concerned about, it was Lily. She was too young to start her training, and she was all alone in the backyard of the Lightwood home. "Lily, I'm coming to get you, okay?" No response. "Lily? Lily!" Alec ran through the house, nocking an arrow into his bow.

A piercing scream ran through the city of Alicante. Alec could recognize that scream anywhere. It was his poor little girl. A million thoughts ran through his head as he pictured what could be happening to his precious Lily. He hoped and prayed that his little red-head would be all right.

He tip-toed through the tall grass of the back yard, bow in hand. _Please, Raziel. Please let my Lily be alright._ He begged in his mind.

Another tortured scream, followed by the sound of running, towards him. Alec ran towards the sound, and saw Lily, running away from a vicious Raum demon.

It's white, pale scales glowed in the moonlight, it's pupil-less eyes staring at Lily with hunger.

 _That monster won't lay a hand on her._ Alec repeated those words in his mind as he shot the arrow at it, which sunk right into its flesh. The demon was about to reach Lily, but then he turned and ran after Alec.

"Lily, go to mommy." Alec said sternly, pushing Lily out of the way of the demon's clutches.

Goey slime oozed from the Raum's perfectly circular mouth, dripping onto Alec's back as he continued to wrestle the demon. Its sharp fangs tore his shirt and jacket, black ichor flowing from the arrow. All Alec cared about was defending his family. His bow and arrows wouldn't work at such close proximity, so he drew a knife from the inside of his torn jacket, his strength rune glowing.

He looked right into the Raum's dead eyes, and sank his knife through it, blinding the creature, and took the arrow that was stuck in his flesh and sunk it into the demon's heart.

"Where's dad?" Chris asked in a panicked voice as he drew a courage in combat rune onto his arm, and then drew runes around them to form a protective shield.

"I..don't know, Chris." Clary responded. "But, the siren means that all trained shadowhunters must go join the battle."

"But, mom-

"I'm sorry." Clary said, her voice cracking.

"But what about your headache? You're tired, too." Chris said. "Can't that excuse you?"

"That was the siren for the call to battle. I'm afraid that Alicante is in serious danger." Clary said. "If I don't go out there, then that's disrespect for our kind and our country."

"I can come with you!"

"Who will protect your little sister?" Clary sighed, giving him a look. "Stay in the shield, and-and don't get out until the all clear. Protect yourselves." She handed Lily a witchlight. "Mommy is gonna go fight some demons, okay? I'll be back."

"Okay." Lily said. You could tell that she was fighting tears. "We'll wait for daddy."

Clary paled when she thought about Alec. He hadn't come back from fighting a demon, according to Lily. A big one. She shook of the nerves as she ran outside to join her fellow shadowhunters in battle.

Out in the battlefield, there were several wounded shadowhunters fighting for there lives, all of them.

"For Alicante!" One Jace Herondale cried from the center of the field, hacking his way through demons as he had almost twenty years ago. His parabatai rune glowed red. Clary knew that Alec was alive, but she didn't know what condition he was in.

"Clary!" A voice behind her whispered.

"Izzy! Are you okay? Is Meliorn with you?" Clary asked.

"Yeah. Watch out!" She said as a demon swung its tentacles over her head.

"Good to hear." Clary said, watching as the number of demons decreased and decreased. She hacked down one last demon and smiled in relief, knowing that it was almost over, and she could go home.

 **2 hrs later…**

"Daddy!" Lily cried when she saw her father, dripping ichor all over the floor, walking towards them.

Alec smiled when he saw his kids. Using every bit of energy he had left in his body, he grabbed Lily's hand, looked at both children, and said, "Thank god you're alright." He sighed.

"Dad!" Chris said. "What happened?"

Alec opened his mouth to explain, but instead, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell to the floor.

"DAD!" Lily shrieked.

Chris put his hand to Alec's head. "He's burning up."

 **Hahahahaha. Little cliffhanger for all of you. Mwahahaha! I know that this was a little bit fast paced, and I promise that it won't be so all over the place next time. There's just so many places that this story could go! Anyway tell me what you think and don't forget to leave review, a follow, and a favorite! Did ya like it?**

 **~Sara**


	2. Chaos

**Hello hello hello. So, I just wanted to say that i have a ton of motivation now, and I hope that I'll update more. Just depends on how I feel. Thanks for all the love and support! Once again, I am not a professional, I am not a doctor, or an expert in pregnancy.**

 **~Sara**

 ***all creds to Cassandra Clare.***

 _Previously…_

" _Daddy!" Lily cried when she saw her father, dripping ichor all over the floor, walking towards them._

 _Alec smiled when he saw his kids. Using every bit of energy he had left in his body, he grabbed Lily's hand, looked at both children, and said, "Thank god you're alright." He sighed._

" _Dad!" Chris said. "What happened?"_

 _Alec opened his mouth to explain, but instead, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell to the floor._

" _DAD!" Lily shrieked._

 _Chris put his hand to Alec's head. "He's burning up."_

"Dad?" Chris said in a panicked tone. Just when he thought that their troubles were over, his dad was sick. Suddenly, he remembered something. Something crazy. Xavier had been with him when he came downstairs, before all the demons came rushing at them. Xavier had never left. So...where was he?

Fear coursed through his veins as he imagined what could be happening to him. He had been so absorbed in taking care of himself when in reality his mom would've been alright. Xavier was helpless. Xavier could be in a corner, dead, he could be in a ditch, he could be fighting off a dozen greater demons, Raum demons, who knew? What if, what if, what if. But he couldn't just leave Lily alone.

Then, Jonathan made the biggest and almost the most stupid decision in his life. "Lily, get onto my back." Chris reached into his emergency backpack for some rope and tied Lily onto him. "Hold on tight." He didn't know if this was a bad idea, risking his sister's life to find his best friend. But he wouldn't be able to live if he knew that Xavier had been alive, and died because he didn't make the decision. He left his father on the floor, and walked.

He ran up the stairs to where he last saw Xavier, his breath coming out in frightened gasps. For the 15 years that he'd been alive, he'd have never thought that the demons would ever break through the barriers of Alicante. The last time that happened was during the Great War, where his own uncle had gone through the walls. Of course, Sebastian Morgenstern was dead. His mom talked about him a lot. He was a good guy, she told him. He was just misunderstood.

He threw open the doors of his bedroom, expecting to see Xavier, but there was nothing there but a few drops of ichor, a dead Raum demon, and torn gear.

"What happened to him?" Chris choked up, his breath coming out faster and faster. Yes, he truly was afraid. He took the torn gear and drew the tracking rune on it as fast as he could, for he had his mother's amazing rune ability.

An image blasted into his head. The Raum demon next to him was alive, and fighting Xav, who struck it quickly in the chest. Right before the demon fell to the floor, it struck Xav in the chest, but he was able to crawl into the secret hatch in the floor.

"Thank the fucking angel." Chris muttered with gratitude until he realized that Xav might not have been able to survive such a wound. His hands, trembling from the effort of trying to keep himself together, quickly opened the hatch.

He jumped to the bottom, and there was Xavier, trembling, his arms wrapped around the wound flowing with blood.

"Xav!" Chris choked out as he ran towards his best friend. "By the angel, Xav. Xav, I'm so sorry for leaving you alone up here. I'm sorry that I went to go get Lily."

Xavier looked up at him best friend. "Please make the pain go away. Please, Ch-ris."

It hurt for Chris to see his laughing, cheerful, and amazing best friend, in a corner, and crying. He was in so much pain, and Chris would do anything to switch places with him. Why had he been so stupid? Why had he been so selfish? Why, why, why?

Xavier's mind lit up with a rune. "Don't worry, Xav. I'm going to help you. I promise."

Chris' face hardened with concentration, the only thing he was focused on was Xavier, and nothing else mattered. His trembling hands stopped trembling, and his voice returned to normal as he recited a few words and drew a rune.

This was the first original rune that he had ever made, but there was no time to celebrate.

Chris' face lit up with hope as he saw the deep wound in Xav's chest heal up.

Xavier tried to get back up, but a hand stopped him.

"You can't move. You've lost too much blood. We need to get you to the infirmary." Chris muttered, but then remembered his dad, laying there on the floor. A voice rang from above them.

"Christopher Jonathan Lightwood! Lily! WHERE IN THE ANGEL'S NAME ARE YOU?!" It was his mom. He had never felt so relieved in his life that his whole family was alive, maybe not in perfect health, but alive.

Footsteps thundered through the house, and when Clary spotted them, it was horrifying.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT, CHRISTOPHER. YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA-" Clary saw the blood on Xavier's shirt, followed by the blood covered on Chris' hands.

"Where's your father? Where's Alec?"

"He's upstairs, on the floor-

"ON THE FLOOR?" Clary shrieked, running up the stairs.

She fell to her knees, crying when she saw Alec. There was a black film over his eyes, and he was shivering. She didn't know how to feel. She never should have left, but it wasn't wrong for Chris to have helped Xavier.

"Mom, I-

"Chris, call someone for help. Now." Maybe it was all the stress, but Clary's stomach started to feel uncomfortable, and she turned away to throw up on the floor.

"Mom-

'Chris, CALL SOMEONE. I'm fine." Clary's anger flared violently as she started crying again.

 **1 hour later, Infirmary.**

Chris, Clary, and Lily had been waiting for an hour to hear news about Alec.

"Where are the people here for Mr. Alexander Lightwood?" A nurse spoke out in the middle of the crowd of hundreds of shadowhunters. All three of them stood up.

"Can you guys go real quick?" Chris said in a soft voice. "I want to ask about Xav."

Clary grabbed Lily's hand and they followed the nurse towards a room. Clary shrieked silently and covered her daughter's eyes.

Alec was pale, so pale, and he had a shield shaped rash on his chest. There were several cracks and fissures in his skin, and he was connected to several machines.

"Can't you guys fix him with runes?" Clary whispered to the nurse.

"I'm afraid that i have some bad news. Are you sure that you want your little one to hear it?" The nurse asked kindly.

"Is there somewhere that you can take her?" Clary asked in a soft, sad tone.

"Yes." A couple of nurses lightly grabbed Lily's shoulders and took her to what looked like a child's playroom. Good. She would be able to not worry about what was happening to her father.

Clary sat down next to Alec's bed, staring in shock at what was happening to him.

"I'm afraid that your husband had what's called demon pox."

"Doesn't that only happen when you have a, um-inappropriate relationship with a demon?" Clary asked worriedly.

"Our tracking has shown that last night, he had several pounds of ichor on his skin with his gear torn. He didn't receive medical care right away, so i'm afraid there's nothing we can do."

Clary covered her mouth with her hand, sobs coming out in choked gasps. "W-what's going to happen to him?"

"If we can complete a procedure to reduce the cracks in his skin, his angelic blood may repair the damage, but there is a chance that that won't happen, and he will fully transform into a demon, and in that case, we have to...we have to kill him so he won't harm the rest of the shadowhunters."

"How could this HAPPEN? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?" Clary screamed in rage, but then calmed herself down.

"There's nothing we can do but perform the procedure at this stage in the disease" The nurse stood up. "You may talk to him, he's awake."

"Alec!" Clary reached out to touch his cheek, but he turned away.

"You can't. It's contagious." He coughed, then shivered. This pattern repeated several times, until it was over. "Clary, Clary, I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than anything. I love you Rissa."

Clary stared at him, the grief taking over her mind and soul. "I'm going to stay here. For all of it. I'm going to make sure that you're okay." Determination was clear in her eyes.

"Stay." Was all that Alec replied with.

 **While that was happening…**

"Excuse me?" Chris asked a random nurse. "Do you know if Xavier Herondale is alright?"

The nurse looked over from her desk and typed something in. "Family, parabatai and significant others are the only people allowed in right now."

Chris came up with the only lie he could. "He's going to be my parabatai." For some reason, saying that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

The nurse sighed. "I guess I can make an exception. Second door to the left down that corridor."

Chris ran through the hallway, bumping into his mother, who was crying. "MOm? What's wrong?"

His mother explained everything. Demon pox, procedure, everything.

"What are we going to do?"

His mom stopped talking suddenly with a hand on her mouth. She choked out, "I'll talk later," and dashed into the bathroom.

Chris threw open the doors where Xav was staying.

"Xav?"

"Yeah?" Chris sighed in relief as he looked at Chris, who was sitting up weakly in bed. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Xav snapped. For some reason, seeing Xav mad at him made Chris want to leave.

"You know what? I'm going to go."

"No-" Xavier reached out to Chris. "Stay. I don't want you to leave."

"I'll stay." Chris replied.

 **Back with Clary.**

Clary had to shut her eyes, at least for a moment.

" _Clary." The same voice from her last dream whispered into her ear._

" _Who are you?"_

" _Why won't you understand? It's me, Sebastian."_

" _But you-" His hand covered her mouth as he kissed her._

" _I'm back Clary. I'm back for you."_

Clary jolted awake to see the nurse standing in front of her. "What?" She asked quickly.

"I'm sorry to inform you that the procedure was successful, but-

A flood of relief flowed through Clary. At least something in her life was okay. Something was going to get better, and they would get through the demon attacks together, Alec and her.

"That's great news!"

"I regret to inform you that his skin isn't healing." Clary's heart dropped into a dark abyss of anger, sadness and grief. It was all over. Who would have ever expected this to happen?

 **Another cliiiify. Woo. I think that this was really long, thanks to all the inspiration I've had lately. Please prepare a box of tissues for the next chapter, along with maybe the big reveal. Special thank yous to Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by for supporting me. I believe this is the longest chapter that I've ever written! Love you all!**

 **~Sara**


	3. Mourning

**I'm prewriting a bunch of chapters so that I can update more often without having to stress and publish unedited work. I hope that with this new update schedule I can update 2-3 times a week so that I can start writing more fanfics! Also, Idk if you guys will remember after reading this, so questions for you guys will be at the end of this chapter! Thank you Ruth M and Lullaby Baby rock a by bye! Btw, this chapter is very "Clary," so there won't be much Chris or Lily. I promise in the next chapter there will be.**

 **〜** **Sara**

 _Previously…_

" _I'm sorry to inform you that the procedure was successful, but-_

 _A flood of relief flowed through Clary. At least something in her life was okay. Something was going to get better, and they would get through the demon attacks together, Alec and her._

" _That's great news!"_

" _I regret to inform you that his skin isn't healing." Clary's heart dropped into a dark abyss of anger, sadness and grief. It was all over. Who would have ever expected this to happen?_

"What do you mean the skin isn't healing?" Rage flooded through Clary, followed by grief. She couldn't hear what the nurse said next, but nodded and nodded, just trying to concentrate on an image of Alec's face in her mind. Her vision started to blur as people dragged her out of the room.

"Mrs. Lightwood?" A voice knocked her back into reality. "Your daughter is asking to see you."

"O-of course." Clary responded, grabbing the nurse's hand, being almost dragged to the children's play area.

"Mommy!" Lily ran into Clary's arms. "Is daddy okay?"

Seeing Lily's hopeful green eyes, along with her black hair, she started to sob. Lily, even though not knowing what her mom knew, let her cry.

"Y-your dad...Alec…he's very sick, Lily."

"But...he'll get better, won't he?" Lily stared at Clary.

Clary's hands trembled on Lily's shoulders, her whole body shaking as if she had had a million weights on her shoulders, and they had finally destroyed her. "I-I don't know." She took Lily's small hands. "But promise me that you'll stay out of danger."

"I promise mommy."

Xavier had finally fallen asleep, after many hours of talking, crying, and anger. Chris was angry. Angry at the angels for trying to take away his father, his hero, and his mentor. How would Lily react? Hell, how was his mother?

What if his dad would never be the same? Or worse, what if he was dead, or dying? He tried to shake off the feeling, like he always did, but he couldn't. He had to see him, but he couldn't just leave Xavier all alone when he'd promised to stay.

But he had to leave. He walked slowly to the door. If he left, he could come back and act like he never left.

"Chris?" It was Xavier. "Why are you leaving?" He got up.

"I-I need to see my dad." Chris had his head in hands. "How can I just stay here when my own father might be dying?"

Xavier's selfish emotions seemed to vanish. "Chris, you could have woken me and told me that. I don't mind if you go see your father." His kaleidoscopic eyes seemed to change color suddenly as he remembered something. "Hey, has my dad been here?"

"Not...that I know of."

Xavier's eyes shifted to the door. "I have to ask to see if my father got injured." He struggled to stand.

"You can't!" Chris said. "There's still some demon blood in your system!"

"A little demon blood isn't going to stop me from seeing my father." Xavier responded. "If you're so worried, why don't you just come with me?"

"Fine." Chris said. "But you have to promise me that you won't walk too fast."

"I promise, you asshole." Xavier poked Chris.

"My dad's fine?" Xavier asked the nurse.

"Yes, Xavier." The nurse responded. "He's just out with the rest of the guards trying to figure out what's going on with our barriers."

Chris and Xavier both sighed in relief. At least one thing was okay.

 **1 month later…**

 _Beep...beep...beep._

Clary could hear every single breath Alec took, and they were getting more labored each time. Everytime she slept, she would be haunted by Sebastian, and she just didn't know what to do. She longed to tell Alec about everything that was going on with her. Her being sick, and everything, and she would. Eventually.

"Clary?"

"Save your breath, Alec. You need it."

"It's j-ust...y-ou look s-ad. W-hat is i-t?"

Should she tell him? Should she not? She didn't know.

"C-mon, Clary. You c-an tell m-e."

She took in a deep breath, frightened about what was to come. She started to sob. "Seb-Sebastian keeps haunting me in his dreams, telling me that he's back for me, and that he loves me, and I-I don't know what to do." She felt ashamed for telling Alec about her problems when he was getting closer to the grave every time that he took in a breath.

"Cla-ry. I'm dy-ing. You do-n't ha-ve to wor-ry a-bout me." He looked at her with wild eyes. "Whatever make-s you ha-ppy. I wa-n't y-ou to be hap-py."

Her love for Alec was growing every single second that his life was ticking away. She was angry. Angry at the angels for taking away the one person that she cared about more than anything. Why did the angels hate her so much? Why did everything she cared about have to be ripped from her?

She had felt the same feeling once. Exactly 17 years ago, when Jace had carved Sebastian's heart out right in front of her face. Of course, that wasn't really Jace. It had been Lilith, in the form of Jace. It was wrong of her to have thought that Jace would kill Sebastian.

The same feeling she felt when her mother passed away 10 years ago from a rogue demon attack. The same feeling when the Clave announced that due to nowhere being safe because of demon attacks, that families couldn't have more than 2 children. The same way she felt when they had to tear families apart when they had more than 2 kids.

She hated seeing Alec like this. So weak, so sad, and scared. It scared her that soon, she would have to be a single mother. All alone. She would have to work twice as hard as any other shadowhunter just to keep her family on their feet.

"Alec, I love you." She responded finally.

Then, out of the blue, he started to moan. The cracks in his skin were turning black as they glossed over his skin.

Frightened, she called for her children, as well as a nurse. "CHRIS, LILY, A NURSE? ANYONE?"

A nurse immediately drew the rune of restoration, hoping that it would work once more.

"Mom?" Xavier, Chris, and Lily rushed into the room, along with a crazed Jace.

"Let me." Jace grabbed the stele with such force that it might break, and drew another rune of restoration, praying to the angels that Alec would be alright.

The machine connected to all the tubes in Alec's body started to beep like crazy.

Alec seemed to breath. "Clary, I love you." It sounded like he said, and then the machine quieted.

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" Clary screamed. "Can't you do anything about this?" She trembled as they made her sit down. "Alec, Alec, Alec." She seemed to mumble to herself, as she was curled up in a ball.

She heard screams and sobs coming from Chris, and Lily, poor, innocent Lily, started to cry.

Jace curled his fist into a ball and started to hit the wall so many times that his knuckles started to bruise and bleed. He didn't care about what happened to him.

Clary saw the parabatai rune on his neck break in half, and then disappear, as if Alec never existed at all. Her breath hitched. Her eyes glowed in a dark green-gold color as her soft and gentle face melted into rage.

" _All shadowhunters above the age of 18, to battle. Greater demons have been spotted."_

Clary didn't want anyone to suffer what she had suffered. She felt so much rage and grief. She looked into Jace's eyes, who had the same rage. They both wanted revenge. Revenge on demons for what they had done to Alec.

Clary had knocked down yet another greater demon. She didn't even notice until the battle was done that she had been injured. There was a sword stuck in the right side of her breast, and she hadn't even noticed.

"Somebody get a silent brother." She heard a voice say.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"You're going to be fine, Clary."

She opened her eyes, gasping for breath. She had been having dreams of Sebastian again. "Alec?" She called out, but then she remembered. Alec was dead. Her shoulders shook as she looked up at Brother Zacariach.

 _I have good news and bad news, Clarissa._

"What is it?"

 _You were badly injured, but we have managed to save you._

"Good news? Or was it the bad news?"

 _I have told the Clave that you lost your child in the war, Clarissa._

"What...child?" Clary asked, frightened. Were Lily and Chris alright?

 _No, Clarissa. Liliana and Christopher are fine...it's just…_

Clary was scared now. "What?" She demanded.

 _Clarissa, you are pregnant._

Her worst nightmare had come true. Alec was gone, and she was pregnant.

 **I hope you guys loved the new update! Anyway, I have a few questions for you guys.**

 **1st Question:**

 **What would you prefer for Clary?**

 **Pregnant with Alec's baby**

 **1a. With twins**

 **Pregnant with Sebastian's baby…(You'll see how.)**

 **2a. The child is demonic**

 **3\. With twins. One is Alec's, and one is Sebastian's**

 **One more question. Would you rather…**

 **Xavier/Chris**

 **Chris/Meg(The girl from the Epilogue of "That Was Not expected."**

 **I once again thank you guys for motivating me!**

 **~Sara**


	4. Choices and Discoveries

**Helloooo people! Sorry for not updating even though I said I would. First of all, I just want to say how sorry I am for not updating. I had to take a break due to my mental health and personal issues. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I feel that the break was necessary for me to be able to come back and write the best chapters I can. I wrote chapters that I hated, but I wanted to publish them for your sake, because when you guys are happy, I am. But then I realized that if you are truly my fans, then you won't care how long it takes me to update. Therefore, I am pleased to announce that the Sara you guys love is back! Special thanks to Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by bye!**

 **Love,**

 **Sara**

 ***Disclaimer* I Do nOt oWn ThE mOrTaL iNsTrUmEnTs**

 **~Sara**

" _Good news? Or was it the bad news?"_

 _I have told the Clave that you lost your child in the war, Clarissa._

" _What...child?" Clary asked, frightened. Were Lily and Chris alright?_

 _No, Clarissa. Liliana and Christopher are fine...it's just…_

 _Clary was scared now. "What?" She demanded._

 _Clarissa, you are pregnant._

"What the hell do you mean, I'm pregnant?" Clary asked, looking down at her stomach. "There's no way-I-I can't be…" She thought for a couple of seconds. "The last time I had sex was about 2 months ago, I can't possibly be-there have been no symptoms!"

 _2 months ago was before Alec had demon pox, and before any demon attacks started._

Clary took in a deep breath. She was pregnant. Alec was gone, and she was pregnant. With his baby.

"But what of the law?" She asked Brother Zachariach.

 _Any friend of Herondale's is a friend of mine, and you have been a friend of mine for years._ **Author's note: In this fanfic's timeline, Brother Z never became Jem again, but I promise you that he will.**

"Oh, u-um ok." It took her a while to even take in the information. She felt angry at the angels for taking away her Alec, and she was also angry at herself for being pregnant. Only two children were allowed in a household, due to the famine and the mass demon attacks that were growing more and more frequent. But how could she hide her pregnancy for nine whole months? It wasn't like she could just magically make it disappear. How could she raise the child?

 _You would have to make the sacrifice of living as a mundane, if you wish to keep this child._ Brother Zachariach whispered into her mind.

That was true, but this was the only home that Chris and Lily had known. They couldn't simply say goodbye to the Lightwood Manor and give it up to Isabelle! **A/N: Sizzy broke up in the previous fanfic**

But at the same time...what was there to live for in the Shadow Realm if Alec wasn't in it? Couldn't she give everyone a fresh start, so they could start anew and live with mundanes, at least for a while.

 _Actually, you have 3 options, Clarissa. In two of them, you get to stay here._

"What are they?" She demanded.

 _You could hide your pregnancy and go with your original plan, you can go live with mundanes, or…_

"Or what?"

 _This is only if you are desperate enough to want to stay here._

"Tell me."

 _The rule of the Clave states that you are only allowed to have 2 children with one man. It says nothing about the father being another man._

"And who would this...other man be?"

 _I was thinking Jonathan Herondale. He'd do anything for Alec, considering that they are parabatai, and he is the godfather of your other two children._

Clary paled at the thought of Jace filling the mold in her family as 'father.' But then again, they needed money, and she didn't exactly have a high school deploma… This could be their best option. "Let..let me think about it."

 _Alright, but please let me know. Jace already knows. He's agreed, and he has told me himself that he does not wish to take Alec's place, just to hold onto his legacy._

 **Chris**

"Chris?" A soft voice woke him up from his light sleep.

"Mm?" Chris mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He saw Xavier, huddled in a corner, cradling himself.

"I-it's my dad. He got injured during the demon attack last night."

Chris saw how terrified Xavier looked. He slowly walked over to him, and put his arm around him. "It's gonna be okay, Xav. It's gonna be okay."

"But how do you know that?" Hs voice came out in a frightened whisper.

"I-

"You don't know, do you? Everybody's as good as dead! None of us are winning against the demons! They're winning, we're losing."

"Xav-

"We're not gonna be okay, Chris!" Xavier looked at him with wild eyes. "We're all gonna die!"

"XAVIER PENHALLOW-HERONDALE!" Chris shouted, slamming Xavier against the wall. "We are not GOING TO DIE, do you hear me? WE ARE NOT GOING TO DIE."

Xavier's eyes started to water, and he burst into tears. "I can't! I just can't!" he started to tremble under Chris' grip.

Chris felt the warmth of Xavier's arms. "Xav, you're burning up. Get back in bed." He looked at Xavier, who was staring at his trembling body.

"We're gonna die. We're gonna die." He was muttering to himself.

"We're not gonna die."

"Yes we are."

"No we aren't."

"Then prove it." Xavier looked at Chris expectantly.

Somehow, in the heat of the moment, Chris saw Xavier differently. Not just as his best friend, but something else that he couldn't wrap his finger around. He looked at Xavier's blonde hair, and suddenly noticed his toned and muscular arms. _Stop, Chris. Xav has a fever. Think about that._ But he couldn't stop thinking about it.

It seemed as if Xavier was thinking the same thing, because they both leaned in and kissed. Even though the kiss was full of passion, it was also full of the heat from Xavier's fever. Somehow, things felt right at that moment. No worries about Alec, no worries about Jace, no worries about demons. For a moment, they weren't the kids of famous war heroes. They were just Xavier and Chris. And they were happy.

Chris definitely wasn't happy when Meg came into Xav's room. He sighed deeply.

"Chris!" _Well, what the fuck._ Chris thought. Sure, Meg was pleasant. Sure, she was hot. But she didn't really make him feel better about himself. He ran a hand through his raven colored hair and pinched himself as if trying to make himself believe that Meg wasn't there. He counted to ten, opened his eyes, and waited for Meg to disappear. But she didn't.

She threw herself into his arms, knocking him onto Xav, who was still on the ground, rolling his eyes.

"You have no idea how worried I was! I came as soon as I could!" Megara cried.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"What's wrong? Are you okay? You're sweating, and your lips are red."

"I think it's just...a little hot in here." Chris exchanged looks with Xavier. He felt guilty and confused. What had he done? Had he destroyed their friendship?

 **Clary**

"I've made my decision, Zachariach." Clary had spent almost two hours thinking.

 _What have you decided?_

"I…

 **Hello, it's Sara, the queen of cliffhangers! See ya in a week! I'm out!**

 **~Sara**


	5. Decisions and Demands

**Hola my friends! I missed you guys so much! Fanfiction is truly my home. You guys are all so amazing! Special thanks to Ruth M for motivation and Lullaby baby rock a by bye for support and a great friend! I hope you enjoy this juicy chapter! ALso, I know that this was supposed to be all about Clary, but I like how things are going with Xav and Chris, so...this might be a little more focused on them. I also hope you don't mind that I'm taking my time with these chapters. Some weeks there might be 3, other weeks there may be none. Thanks for understanding(because I didn't post last week).**

 **~Sara**

 ***Disclaimer* I Do nOt oWn ThE mOrTaL iNsTrUmEnTs. JuSt ThE pLoT oF tHiS fAnFiC**

"I've made my decision, Zachariach." Clary had spent almost two hours thinking.

 _What have you decided?_

"I…I choose to stay here. I w-won't hide my pregnancy. Jace can pretend to b-be the father." Clary stuttered.

 _Are you sure?_

No. "Yes." She responded. Jace wasn't going to take Alec's place. _We'll be fine. Jace is like family._

 _Okay then. I shall notify Jace. We can notify the consul in about a month, so when you're around 3 months, we'll say that you're at 2._

"O-okay." Clary replied, putting a hand on her stomach lightly. She still couldn't believe it. She was pregnant. The fear was overwhelming, but she couldn't imagine what it felt like for Jace.

 **Chris**

Chris hadn't spoken to Xav in 2 hours. What else was he supposed to do? Just walk right up to Xav and act like everything was normal? He didn't even understand what he had just done. I mean...he was straight, right? Then again, he had never only liked just girls.

He was confused, but he didn't know who to go to for help. His dad had been bisexual, he had dated the high warlock of Brooklyn 15 or so years ago. His shoulders sagged as he remembered the events of the previous days. His father had gotten demon pox and died.

Chris had realized something. No matter how strong, brave, or amazing a person was, they could die. Sometimes it was the good people who died instead of the evil ones. Like the person he was named after. Jonathan _Christopher_ Morgenstern. He had been wrongly accused of being cruel and evil when he was actually good at heart.

Alec, Isabelle, Raphael. All cursed to die in a horrible, awful way. Isabelle had died defending Raphael, and Raphael had been struck down shortly afterwards. Fate was unkind.

"Christopher, what's going on with you?" Meg's voice shook him out of his trance.

"It's nothing." He thought again, then answered, "I'm fine."

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Meg said.

 _That I just kissed my best friend, who happens to be a guy? No thanks._ "Yeah, I know." He stated quickly, then looked away because the guilt was too strong. He would have to live with it, wouldn't he?

"Oh, Christopher." Meg saw the torment in his eyes, but didn't try to make him talk. "It's gonna be alright, I promise." _Nope. It's not._

"Yeah, yeah." He tried for a smile, only for it to collapse into a frown.

"I'll go get you a coffee, okay?" Chris nodded.

"Chris." A familiar voice whispered. "Chris, I've been looking everywhere for you! I thought that maybe you were dead, or maybe you were hurt, or something happened to you, and if that h-happened, I-I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Chris looked up to see Xavier, once again worried about him. Why did he have to be so weak all the time? Why did everyone have to look after him as if it was a chore? The turn had finally hit him. He was weak.

His facial expression hardened. He didn't want to be weak. He didn't want Xavier's sympathy.

"I'm fine."

Xavier took a look at his face, hurt plastered on the way that he moved. Some tears started to pool in his eyes and he started to walk towards the door.

Neither of them knew that both of them felt the same. They both felt weak, scared, and helpless in a time when they had no control over what was happening.

"Wait-" Chris started to say.

 **Clary**

"Okay. For this plan to work, you can't tell anyone." Jace had told her repeatedly. "We can't let the clave split up your family. They might even make Chris or Lily leave the family, not the one you're pregnant with. That's too cruel." Jace was, in fact, part of the council. The consul right now was his girlfriend(Xavier's mother), Aline Penhallow.

"I know that. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"N-no. It's just...you remind me of…"

"What?"

"Nothing." What Jace was thinking was in fact the very day that Jace had met Clary. She was scared, and she didn't know what to do. The same look was on her face right at this moment. He had been hiding his feelings of guilt and the feeling in his head that maybe he could have ended up with Clary. He shook the feeling aside. This was the last thing she needed right then.

"Ok." _No, it isn't. I know there's something wrong._ Clary thought. _I want to ask you, but it isn't my place to ask._

"I'm not sure if we can tell Lily or Chris about this." Jace stated, waiting for Clary's reaction to his idea.

"I-I agree. Lily goes around talking to everyone, and I have no clue about how Chris would react." Clary thought out loud.

"At least everything is okay for now." Jace lied to himself, and to Clary.

"Y-yeah." Clary laughed uneasily.

"Well then." Jace cleared his throat lightly. "I should go. Your daughter's waiting outside for you." He walked out of the room.

"Mommy?" Lily said from below her, tugging on Clary's green gear. "Are you okay?"

When Clary saw the look on her daughter's face, she melted. Lily was so innocent, and so unaware of what was going on that it made her want to break down and cry in her arms. Did she even know about her dad? Still, even though she knew nothing, she stared at her mother with concerned eyes.

"Up." Lily poked her mother again, holding her hand out. Clary carefully lifted her daughter up onto the hospital bed. "Where's daddy?"

 _Where's daddy?_ The one question that Clary didn't want to answer. How was she supposed to explain to a six year old that her father had died? "I-" Her voice cracked, "I-I Alec.." She started to sob, her hands reaching up to wipe her tears. Lily reached out towards her mother, tucking a strand of loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay, mommy. You can cry." Clary looked down at the smiling girl, her sapphire eyes gently staring at her mother's emerald ones.

Looking at those eyes made her remember Alec's eyes, which were the same color. _Lily needs to know, Clary._ "Y-your father…" She stopped as if she was gasping for air. She couldn't say it, not out loud. _You have to. If not for you, for Alec. If it were the opposite, he would have told them already._ "He's gone, Lily."

"When's he coming back?" The innocent answer hurt Clary more than words could describe.

"H-he's not…" Clary held back tears. "He's not coming back."

"Why not?" Lily put her hand into her mother's, obviously upset. Her blue eyes were starting to pool with tears, causing them to practically glow.

 _I can't tell her that he's dead, straight forward. It hurts too much._ "He's too far away." She finally said.

 **Chris**

"Wait-" Chris calles after Xavier. "Xav. I..I'm sorry."

Xavier took a look at Chris and took his hand off of the door knob right in front of him. He sat down next to Chris and gently put an arm around him. "You can tell me anything. You're my-" _Best friend? Something? I don't know._ Xavier thought. "You mean a lot to me." Was all he said.

 _I'm your what?_ Chris thought. "Y-Yeah." He briefly thought about Meg and what she had said to him earlier. " _You know you can tell me anything, right?"_ In a way, Meg and Xavier were alike. He shook off the thought, not daring to picture them in the same way.

"Hey." Xavier said softly, the low and husky tone of his voice practically booming in his eardrums. He lifted Chris' chin up slightly and stared into his eyes. "Don't lie to me. I know something's wrong."

Chris melted when he saw how adorable Xavier looked when he was worried. _What are you thinking?_ He internally screamed at himself. "Fine. I'll tell you. Under one condition."

"What?" _Ask him, Chris._ He told himself. _Or else you'll always wonder._

Chris inhaled. "What are we?" He demanded. Almost as soon as he said it, he regretted asking. He blushed but looked away (hopefully) before Xavier saw.

"I-" Xavier stuttered. He hated being put on the spot, and Chris new that. "We-"

 **How was that? Don't worry, I have a lot more planned. Thank you to Ruth M for being a constant support and Lullaby baby rock a by bye for curing my writer's block!**


	6. Confessions and Craziness

**Holllllllaaaaaa. Lmao. What's up? I'm feeling better than ever right now, actually. My writer's block is gone, my grades have gone up, my band did great during a gig…:) Anyway, this is going to be moving forward with Clary, but I can't promise that I'll stop writing about Chris. Also, should I call Jon Jonathan or Sebastian, because I called him Sebastian in that was not expected. You also may have noticed that my username changed to sarjoo. Thx! You also may find that as I have improved my writing skills, everything is just better than my original writing! Also, it's been about a year since I started writing fanfics!**

 **~Sara**

 **Clary**

Clary walked out of the bathroom for the 2nd time that day. She wished she wasn't pregnant. She wished she didn't have to pretend it was Jace's. She thought about the dream she had had last night.

" _Clary. Why can't you see? I'm the father. I'm the one. I still love you."_

 _Clary's hair was flowing around her in bright scarlet as she listened to what the obsidian-eyed man in front of her said. "No. You can't be." Her green eyes glared at him. She felt her hands wander up to her stomach. "You're not even real."_

" _Yes, I am. I just haven't quite found my way up into the world yet. All I need is one little kiss."_

" _Who are you? For the last time, who are you?" She knew who it was, but couldn't bare to admit it to herself. It was Sebastian. In the deep depths of her soul, she knew._

 _The man stepped out of the shadows of the room, revealing himself._

 _He was so familiar. The man from nearly 17 years ago. The man of dreams, the man who had died in front of her eyes, the man she had loved. Sebastian. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern._

 _Blonde hair almost as white as snow, black eyes the color of coal, and a cold expression that only warmed when he was with her. She remembered the feeling of her lips against his, and the way that she felt perfectly content when she was with him. She felt a sudden burn of hate towards Lilith, for corrupting Jace and killing him._

 _But Alec, she told herself. The man who was almost a stranger to her, yet she knew him like the back of her hand. Why? Why, she asked herself. Why in Raziel's name would you even think of him like this when Alec…_

 _But when you're with him, you forget about Alec._

" _You'll dream of me if you change your mind." Sebastian whispered in her ear._

Clary gasped, throwing the covers off of her body, and reaching for the switch on her lamp. "N-no. T-that...n-no." She stuttered. That couldn't have been real.

 _Could it have?_

Clary asked herself those three words repeatedly. Lilith had come back after being dead for millenia. Sebastian had her blood, which meant...maybe… But then why hadn't he come back earlier? Why had he left her to grieve, left her to fall in love with somebody else? Why had he left her with such mixed emotions?

She sighed, putting her head in her hands. _It's just a dream._ She coaxed herself back to sleep, and darkness flowed over her eyes. She prayed that she wouldn't see him again. So she could be at peace.

 **Chris**

 _Chris inhaled. "What are we?" He demanded. Almost as soon as he said it, he regretted asking. He blushed but looked away (hopefully) before Xavier saw._

" _I-" Xavier stuttered. He hated being put on the spot, and Chris new that. "We-"_

"I-" Xavier stuttered. "We-" He took in a deep breath and looked at Chris' eyes questioningly, as if asking if he would answer the question for him.

 _I need an answer._ Chris thought, his mind all over the place.

"I...have a confession to make." Xavier sighed softly.

Chris thought for a moment. "What...is it?"

"I-I'm…" Xavier started to stutter once more. _I can't tell him._ "I'minlovewithyouandIknowyoudon'tfeelthesamewaysojustdon'tgetmadatmepleasenothinghastochangeIjusthadtogetthatoffofmychest." He said quickly, and tried to escape from Chris' grip.

"What?" Chris asked, confused.

"Iknowyou'reshockedandI'msorry." Xavier replied.

"No, Xav." Chris rolled his eyes. "I didn't understand a word of what you just said. C-can you repeat it?"

Xavier took in a deep breath. "I-I'm in love with you. I have been since we were little. I-I just didn't have the guts to say it."

"B-But what about all the boyfriends you've had?"

"The only reason I come back crying to you is because I break up with them. The only person I love is you, Chris. I know you don't feel the same way. I just wanted to get it off of my chest." Xavier then ran a hand through his silky blonde hair.

"B-But how? Why me?" Chris responded, self doubt hitting him.

"Why you?" Xavier laughed. "Why you? Chris. You're the most caring, kind, and sweetest person I've ever met. I-I...you're never afraid to help people who need it, and you even put your life on the line to save people. I love you because of how you make me happy when I feel all alone, and you're always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. You're amazing, Chris."

Chris looked at Xav, his blue eyes shining with a mixture of happiness, sadness, and confusion. He loved Xav, but he didn't know in what way. He loved Meg, but he didn't know in what way.

Everything was strange to him. It was like he was looking at a stranger.

But this was Xav. Xav, the guy he had known for all his life, the guy who he had entered the Academy with for the first time, the guy he had seen mature… Self doubt hit him. _Am I enough? What if he's lying?_ But when he saw the hopeful look in Xav's eyes, reality disappeared.

And all he saw was Xavier. The guy that he...loved.

"I-I wasn't sure about this...but now I-I know." Chris stuttered for the first time in his life. "I l-love you too."

Xavier looked up, shock and happiness clear in his eyes. "But what about Meg?"

"I don't care." Chris said. "I love you." His words were clear now.

 **Clary**

"Clarissa Lightwood?" A soft voice came from the door to her room. A nurse walked in and sat down.

"What is it?" She sat up.

"I first want to say that mister Alexander Lightwood's funeral will be held at whatever date you desire, and there is a spot in the City of Bones ready for him, among war heroes like him. Secondly-"

Clary hadn't realized she was crying, and that the nurse was staring at her in what looked like...pity. She looked up and gestured for her to continue.

"We think that you are mostly recovered, and other than the possible stress of the funeral, you should have no other medical issues that can't be fixed with an iratze." The nurse handed her a tissue gently, and then continued. "You can go home now, and get a good night's rest. You can leave whenever you'd like. There will be fire messages sent to you related to the funeral."

 _This is why I can't think about Sebastian._ She told herself. _Your kids. This child. Alec._ She smiled at the nurse. "Of course. I'll leave as soon as I can. Please thank Brother Zachariah for personally helping me with my health issues."

"I will relay along the message." The nurse said, leaving the room. "Have a great day." _Unlikely._ She thought.

Clary walked through the halls of the hospital, ready to finally take her and her kids back home. _Where is Chris?_ She thought as she held Lily's hand. "Wait here, okay?" She told Lily, gesturing towards the kid's playroom. Lily nodded and ran in, laughing and smiling with glee. Clary smiled at how carefree Lily was.

 _Oh! Meg was going to visit Xavier, and she mentioned that Chris was there as well._ Clary remembered. She walked into the hall where Xavier was supposed to be.

"I don't care." A familiar voice whispered lightly. "I love you." Sounds of kissing echoed through the hall. She paled when she realized something. That voice...was Chris.

She carefully tip-toed through the hall towards where the noise was coming from, and peered through a small crack in the door, and gasped. It was..Chris. and Xavier. Making out.

With a hand over her mouth, she thought about everything that had been going on for the past few months. Chris had been acting so secretive about Meg and everything, when in reality, this… It wasn't like she wasn't okay with him being gay, or bi, or whatever. She just didn't think that he would be the kind to cheat. _I love you?_ She thought again.

She slowly started to walk back, but then smelt a hospital lunch that a nurse was taking into the room. Along with the shock Xavier and Chris, and the gross stench, and all the stress, Clary barfed.

Too her shock, the two boys looked up and Chris immediately ran out of the door.

"Mom! I c-can explain!"


	7. We're All Hurt Inside

**Hi! I'm back again! As you might be able to tell, I have a lot of time and inspiration right now for this particular fanfic, so I'll probably be updating a lot more than usual :)! I also want to take a minute to thank Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by bye for being such great friends and readers.**

 **Thanks so so much to gymratangie for being such a supportive reader through my hard times!**

 **~Sara**

 _Too her shock, the two boys looked up and Chris immediately ran out of the door._

" _Mom! I c-can explain!"_

Chris stopped, seeing the puke all over the floor, his face paling and his mouth opening and closing, as if unsure what to say.

 _What have I done?_ Clary thought. _He probably thinks that I did this because I was disgusted._ She opened her mouth to speak, but immediately, nurses started to rush over to where the commotion was.

Clary looked to where Chris was, and saw that he was putting his hands into his face, tears flowing down his cheeks. She tried to go to him, but the nurses stopped her. "I'm sorry ma'am, but you seem to be sick." They held her back.

Instead of her going to comfort him, it was Xavier who did instead. He walked over to where Chris was sitting down, and put an arm around him. Before the nurses completely took her away, she shouted, "get your little sister!" Too Chris. She wished she could have said more, but it was impossible to get another word out.

The nurses dragged her through halls and then sat her down into a chair in her old hospital room once more.

"Are you alright, Miss?"

"Y-Yes. I just feel a bit dizzy."

The nurse looked her straight in the eye. "Are you sexually active?"

"N-not right now…" Her mind wandered back to her last moments with Alec, and how she was supposed to plan his funeral in just a few days time.

"Alright then." The nurse gave her a quick smile, pulled out a stele and drew a rune on her. She paled.

On her skin was a bright + sign, glowing brightly.

"Oh dear." The nurse muttered. "Oh dear. I'm afraid that you are pregnant."

Clary almost laughed. _Well, duh!_ But instead, she feigned innocence. "But...I can't." She responded.

"Oh, you can tell me, sweetheart."

She already had the lie that she was supposed to tell. "Jace." She croaked out. It was hard to say, especially since it wasn't true.

The nurse put a hand over her mouth, but then nodded. "I won't say anything. You can leave."

 **Chris**

Why would his mother react like that? Chris thought, over and over. Was she disgusted? Why did she puke? _Am I disgusting?_ Shame seared through his mind. _No,_ he told himself. _It's not wrong._

Xavier has been the one to comfort him, and the one who retrieved his sister from the kid's playroom.

"I'm sure that it was something else." Xavier told him gently, but then the tone of his voice completely changed. "It's Meg."

Chris looked up, and saw that Meg was dashing towards them, her dark hair flying in every angle possible.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Meg asked with concern, seeing the tears on his face.

"Nothing. I'm fine." Chris responded. _Except for the fact that I cheated on you. And kissed Xav. And told him I loved him. And...yeah._

"Ok." Meg said, not wanting to force him into saying anything, but still curious. "But if you change your mind about telling me, just let me know."

"Shouldn't you tell your _girlfriend?"_ Xav said coldly. _Please don't do this to me right now._ Chris thought. _I can't handle this._

Meg's eyes seemed to darken a shade. "Wait, you told him, and not me? What-?"

"I-" Chris looked at Xav. "I, um…" He looked at Meg's upset face. What was he supposed to say? _I, I can't. I…_

Xav put a hand on his arm, and leaned in to whisper into his ear. "You can just make up something if you want."

"I-It's just...my dad." _Great, Chris. You're using your dad as an excuse now?_

Meg's facial expression changed. "Oh, Chris. I'm so so sorry. I had no idea…" She tucked her black hair behind her ear and gave him a small smile. "You don't have to say anything else. I understand." And she did. She knew what it was like to feel loss. She just felt alone when her boyfriend of 1 year wasn't telling her certain things.

"Look, I wanna talk, but-

"Chris? Are we gonna go home yet?" Lily came walking over.

 _Thank god._ "Not yet, but we're gonna go as soon a mom gets back, okay?"

Lily nodded, and just as things were settling back down to normal, her eyes saw the familiar hoodie that Meg always wore, and giggled with delight. _Oh, by the angel._ Chris thought, feeling ready to grab his bow and arrows and shoot Meg.

"Meggy!" Was what Chris heard the excited six year old cry out. "Yay! You're here! What's up? Why haven't you come over to our house?" She looked around at the three frowning teenagers. "What's wrong?"

"Lily, could you please be quiet for one second?" Meg snapped.

The look on Lily's face could hurt the strongest of angels. Her eyes were dark blue and she covered her face with her scarlet locks of hair and started to cry.

 _I don't care what you do to me, you CAN'T hurt Lily._ Chris' eyes seemed to burn through her skin.

"Meg, please-" Xavier tried to talk to her, to get her to calm down from her rage, but instead, she broke. She broke, like a dam that was under so much pressure that it broke.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed. They heard a baby start to cry in the distance, along with the shadow of Clary far away in the hall. She pushed Xavier, who was unprepared for what happened next. She pushed him hard, in the ribs, where he was injured the week before. He fell on the floor, hard.

 **Clary**

Who did that nurse think she was, going all up in her business like that? Even though she was mad, she didn't have the energy to yell at her. She was tired, she needed to pee, and she was hungry. She also felt like her clothes were a little tight, which only made her feel like she was fat.

She walked down the hall, just getting out of the bathroom, with a soda in her hand to wake her up and almost stomping. What she saw next raised her curiosity even more.

Meg had said something to Lily, who started crying. Xavier then walked over to her and said something.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Those words echoed through the hall, and Clary quickened her pace. The next thing that she remembered seeing was Xavier on the floor, and Chris slapping her.

"W-why would you do t-that to me?" Meg heard.

"I'm sorry, Meg." Chris looked at his hands.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Clary yelled with her arms around her waists. "Chris, Meg. Explain!"

"I-I she made Lily cry, and I just, I don't know what came over me. I-I-" He stopped, and as if remembering something, he paled. "Xav." He fell down to his knees, with his hands shaking.

 _How did he go from screaming at Meg, to being almost the most caring and worried person that I've ever seen? Does love really change a person that much?_ Clary thought, as she studied the situation happening in front of her.

"W-what do I do? H-he's bleeding?" His voice cracked as he clenched his stele. "W-why won't my abilities work?!" He hadn't even noticed that the tip of the stele was digging deep inside of his skin and carving it, causing blood to drip down on the floor. "I have to remember, I-

"Chris. Let me." Clary grabbed the stele from Chris' bleeding hand. She looked at the fright in his eyes, and a flash of pain ran through her as she remembered herself in the same state. She remembered Sebastian and Alec. _I can't let you experience the same pain._ She drew an almost perfect rune across Xavier's stomach, which was bleeding, and fast. If he hadn't been a shadowhunter, he could've died.

She watched as the wound began to heal, but slowly. She also saw Chris' eyes brighten up again when he saw Xav's hands move.

Clary went and grabbed Lily, who was beginning to wipe the tears off of her face. How much did her kids have to go through? How much pain would they have to overcome at such young ages? Heck, Chris was younger than she was when she found out that she was a shadowhunter, and Lily could barely even read, and she hadn't even started her basic training!

"We need to go home." Clary said.

"B-but Xav-

"Jace is in the battlefield, so we can take him home with us, I guess." Clary looked back at Xav, and seemed to see a younger version of his staring right at her. Xav, who was carefree, and happy. That seemed like ancient history now. _What are we gonna do?_

"Mrs. Lightwood?" That last name seemed to drive a nail deep into Clary's heart, and she stopped in her tracks.

"Who is it?" She turned around.

"It's Sebastian."

"Mom!" She heard in the distance, but she was flooded back into reality. "Who're you talking to?"

SHe shook her head, and Sebastian had disappeared. "N-nothing. Nobody." She took a last look at where she had heard and seen Sebastian. "There's nothing there."

"I think it's time we go home, mom." Chris said as if nothing had just happened.

She wasn't going crazy, was she? Something unordinary, something dark, something demonic. Something was following her, and Clary was horrified. She only understood one thing.

 _I'm being followed._

 **I know how much you guys like cliffhangers~ Just kidding, I know you hate them :) But I gotta keep you guys waiting in suspense. Live ya all!**

 **~Sara**


	8. Surprises

**Hey guys. So I know how you guys don't mind me updating whenever I want to, but for some reason as time goes by I feel like I owe you guys more work, even though you guys are being the most supportive people that a fanfiction author could ask for. First, I want to thank** **gymratangie** **for being a wonderful supporter of my work and continuing to read it all the time. Also, to lullaby baby rock a by bye, I hope your writer's block goes away! :)**

 **Lastly, Ruth M, whom this story is dedicated to. To all my lovely readers, thank you. I love you all so much.**

 **Oh, by the way, for the first couple of POV's(point of view) they will be very short, sorry! :) I also wrote a little bit differently than I usually do...if you can catch what I did :)**

 **~Sara**

 **Clary**

Was it all a dream? An illusion of some sort? Maybe her mind was messing with her somehow. There was no Sebastian. He was dead. _You healed, Clary. You're over it._

Lily was playing in her room and Chris and Xavier were doing who knows what, and she...was all alone. She didn't want to be alone. She couldn't handle it. What had Sebastian said to her again? Then, she remembered.

" _Yes, I am. I just haven't quite found my way up into the world yet. All I need is one little kiss."_

But should she? Could she? Was it even real?

" _I'll appear if you change your mind."_ His voice echoed in her ears. She didn't want to go through anything alone anymore. She needed something, anything.

She didn't even care if it was Sebastian.

 **Chris**

"Chris, what's wrong?" Xav asked worriedly, trying to get up from his sitting position.

"No!" Chris said. "I mean, no, don't get up. It's just...did you see my mom's reaction to...us?" Why was it so hard for him to say it, _us?_ Was it his mom's reaction?

"Chris." Xav said softly, "If...you don't feel comfortable with...us, just say so. I'm...I'll be okay."

The real problem was this. Was he gay? Was he bi? What the fuck was wrong with him? His dad just died. Also, he has a _girlfriend._

"I know that look." Chris looked up. "Look, Chris. You can figure it out...and if you don't mind…" Xav took his hand. " _we_ can figure it out."

Chris was stuck in a whirlwind of confusion as he felt himself long to drift back into his old self. The Chris that knew how to be alone. The Chris that liked living without love. But that Chris was gone. The sea of self doubt was rising, almost up to his nose, but a boy saved him.

"I'd like that." He replied, and leaned in to kiss Xavier.

 **Let's give them some privacy, shall we?**

 **Clary**

"I see you've changed your mind." The lights in the room went dark as she listened to the soothing voice.

A part of her wanted to turn the lights back on towards the safety of what was familiar, but another part of her, the old Clary wanted to see him. She wanted to see Sebastian.

"But have you really changed your mind?" She heard the voice get closer to her ear.

"Yes, I have." She said as doubt suddenly crept into her mind. _You made your decision, Clary. You can't take that back._

"Are you sure?" There was a softness in his tone. A softness that made her remember why she was making this choice.

"Yes." A candle flickered into existence in front of her, and she shut her eyes, afraid of what she was about to see.

"You can keep them closed, or you can open them."

Gathering up the most courage she could, she opened her eyes. He had aged, yes...but he still looked the same as he had 17 years prior. The same ghostly pale skin and almost white-blonde hair. The same obsidian eyes that she had seen in her dreams for the past 17 years...the kind smile that she and only she saw. The vulnerability that he was showing now meant so much to her.

She kissed him slowly and softly, as if to test if he was actually there. It felt real, so real. It felt like the kisses they had shared 17 years before. She knew it was foolish to believe that he was the same, but in that moment, she was sure. He was real, at least to her.

"I missed you, Clary." Was the first thing Sebastian, or should she say...Jonathan said.

"I-I missed you, Sebastian." She tried for a smile, but all she felt was confusion. Is he real? Why was this hitting her right after she kissed him?

"You want to know what happened down in Edom?" She could feel his breath against her neck. _What had she been thinking about again?_ She smiled as she started to forget. Later she realized that she forgot what she had been worrying about in the first place.

"What?"

"I found out that you were pregnant." Clary stared at him in shock. "Then…Lilith kinda sorta granted me a wish…?"

"But...she's d-dead. I-I thought-

Sebastian looked at the ground.

"What? Why?!" She exclaimed once she saw the look on his face. He had done it. He had done something to bring his mother back. _Why would he? I thought that he…_

"She gave me a deal. I could come back here, I mean...up here…" He pointed up towards the ceiling awkwardly, and continued. "If I got her something."

"Sebastian." She looked him right in the eye. "What the actual _fuck_ did you do?"

"She told me that if I got her this book...the _Book of White_..she would let me come back here."

"She's powerful enough to do that? I thought that it takes centuries for demons to re-form!"

"I know what you did after I died. I know that you killed her. I know that she's horrible." He cast his gaze down onto the ground. "I just…I needed you."

She sighed. "I shouldn't forgive you. I shouldn't. But I do, I forgive you. I-I need you. That's why I called on you."

All that happened afterwards was her, in Sebastian's embrace as she kept repeating those three words-

 _I need you._

 **Couple hours later.**

"Mrs. Lightwood? Do you know where Chris is?" She heard distantly and motioned to Sebastian to move away.

She turned around and saw Meg. _What the hell?_

"I-I think he's upstairs, sweetie." As soon as she said that, she realized how bad of a choice she had just made. _What if they were...kissing? Or..._ she shook her head. _Not her little boy._ **Haha you wish, Clary. Get ready to laugh or cry.**

 **Chris**

Chris heard footsteps down the hall, but shook off the thoughts and continued to kiss Xavier. I mean, who could it be? Lily?

The door opened, and he heard a scream echo through his room. He could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Xavier? CHRIS!"

It was Meg.

 **Haha haha. Am I the only person that found that last part funny? Here I am at 2 am writing on an iPad that's at 18% and binging Switched at Birth and Glee :) Sorry for the long wait!**

 **~Sara**


	9. Choices to Make

**I procrastinate wayyyyy too much, so I am very sorry for watching glee instead of writing. Lol, anyway, let's continue the hilarious-ness of the last chapter.**

 **~Sara**

 ***Disclaimer-I don't own the Mortal Instruments***

 ***Warning-For those who are sensitive on topics like homophobia, you are warned. I apologize in advance if anything is triggering.***

"XAVIER? CHRIS!?" Meg's screams rang through the room, causing the two boys to spring apart.

 _Oh fuck._ Was all that Chris could think. "Meg, I can explain, I-I promise." He could hear the unsteadiness and uneasiness in his own tone, so as he talking his voice got softer and softer.

"Don't ' _Meg'_ me, Christopher Jonathan Lightwood." Meg said in a betrayed tone. She took in a deep breath, as if trying to erase the memory of what had just happened right in front of her face. This couldn't be happening. Not Chris, not her Chris. It had to be a dream, a lie, a demon.

As Meg told herself those things, she started to realize so many things that she had overlooked over the past year. How Chris was never 'in the mood' to kiss her, how he treated her in the way that he treated his sister... _No._ She shook her head. _No._

"Meg, please. Just listen to me."

Her feelings were all jumbled together. Listen to Chris, and maybe he'll have an explanation. Don't listen, and stop thinking about him altogether. Betrayal, anger, and sadness. Had the past year been a lie? At last, she said something. "Fine." The anger in her voice was probably more harsh than she'd thought, because Chris flinched.

What made her even more angry was the way that Chris leaned in and whispered something in Xavier's ear.

"What the hell do I do, Xav? I-I don't even know…" It was so _hard_ for him to say. "I don't even know what I am."

"Chris, it doesn't matter what you are, I just care that you care about me. Whatever you say, I don't care." Was what Xav replied with.

Chris managed an uneasy smile, but then quickly chickened out. "Can you do it?"

"Chris, you know I love you, but-"

Xavier opened his mouth again to speak, but Meg was standing there with an enhanced hearing rune written on her ear, a hand over her mouth.

" _You_ never _once_ said that word to me, Chris. _Never, ever._ How could you do this to me, Chris? Do you even know that it's our 1 year…" She stopped talking and started to sob.

"Look, Megara, **(A/N: Yeah, not Meghan.)** I swear nothing happened-

* **Warning.*** "Don't even **talk** to me!" She screamed at Xavier. "You're the one who turned him into this...this thing! You're disgusting! Don't touch me!"

The look on Chris' face went from scared and uneasy to complete rage.

"You know what, Megara?" He said softly, "I am sick and tired of your _shit._ All you ever do is whine and blab about yourself. But you do know what I finally understand? Something I didn't get for all this time. Thanks for showing me how cruel and terrible a person can be. I'm really, really jealous of the people who've never met you. We're done. So you can just leave and go talk shit about some other people instead of making other people feel terrible about themselves just to make yourself feel okay." He looked back at Xavier, who was speechless.

To be honest, Megara had always been a jerk, but she was sweet at times. It was truly a shock when she said something that terrible.

With a hand over her mouth, Megara looked away in shame and cast her glance down to her feet. "I...I didn't mean it. Xavier, please. We've been friends since we entered the Shadowhunter's Academy."

Xavier lifted his head above the floor and started to speak softer than anyone had ever ward him speak. "I'm glad to know that that's what my friend from when I was _eleven_ thinks of me." He laughed. "I'm disgusting? I'm a horrible thing? Well, everything you just said about me can be used to describe what you are. Do you remember that you're the one who _helped_ me come out? You told me to be _proud_ of who I am. I am proud of who I am. I'm ashamed that I know somebody like you."

"Please, Chris. I'm sorry, I swear." Meg turned her glance to Chris once more.

"About 2 minutes ago, I would have forgiven you and maybe, just _maybe_ we could've still been friends. But why on _Earth_ would you say something so horrible? That I can't forgive. Never."

"Chris, PLEASE. Don't leave me alone, please don't leave me-

"Get out." Chris said, not very loudly, but in an awful, deadly tone. He pointed towards the door. "I never want to see your face ever again."

He heard the door slam and looked back at Xavier, who was crying.

"Xavier, please, please, don't cry." Chris didn't mean to be forceful. Xavier crying hurt his heart. It hurt his heart more than he needed right now.

Xavier finally looked up, his eyes red. "I'm sorry."

"What do you mean you're sorry what are you saying?"

Xavier quietly cried as he started to mumble things altogether and all at once. "I know that I should be proud of who I am, I know. But sometimes it's really, really hard. Why can't I just like who I like and be whoever I want to be without getting stares from every single person? So what if I like to dress differently then somebody else? Sometimes I just feeldisgutingandashamedofwhoIamandIfeelsobadaboutmyselfforthinkingthosethings."

Chris looked at Xavier. This was the first time that he had really, truly broken apart. What Xavier hadn't told anybody was that he had been best friends with Meg. It didn't just hurt, it was like he was being stabbed multiple times over and over by a seraph blade, and every time the blade got sharper. The next thing he knew it was like there were thousands of blades all pointing at him and only him.

For Chris, Xavier was the one thing that he had for himself while everything in the world was falling apart around them. It was just Chris and Xav, Xav and Chris. But right now it felt like they were surrounded by a bunch of obstacles that drew them closer but also closed them both off from telling each other something they desperately needed to say right then and right there.

Perhaps the three most meaningful words in the English language.

 _I love you._

 **Clary(finally)**

Today was the day. Clary was supposed to tell the worst lie of my life. That She had done it with Jace _while_ Alec was in the hospital and that She was pregnant. Wow. What had her life turned into?

"Clary." She turned around.

"Sebastian, what do I do?" His hands went around her and she stopped breathing, just for a moment. This still felt unreal. unnatural, even. But it was all that she had.

"Just relax. As long as you know what's real and what's not, you'll be fine."

The problem was, she didn't. She nodded her head uneasily a she tapped her fingers against the kitchen counter, waiting for Jace to come.

"Okay. Just...stay hidden." She told Sebastian as the doorbell rang and she raced to open the door. "I don't want to trigger Jace's memories of being possessed or anything."

She opened the door and quickly smiled as she looked down at her stomach.

"I'm nervous." Was what she said. "Do you think they'll buy it?"

"I'm one of the most relied upon Shadowhunters, Clary. It'll be fine."

 **About 30 minutes later**

"I have an announcement to make." Jace said as he walked into the room where all the members of the clave were.

The consul frowned at them and demanded, "What is it? Why are you wasting our time? Is there something wrong?"

You were only supposed to meet the clave if there was something really bad happening, and Clary was pretty sure that this whole situation was a complete and utter disaster. She had scheduled a meeting. They were just annoyed.

"You have a 30 minute meeting. Something must be up with the most respected warrior and our rune-maker."

Clary inhaled, then exhaled. "I-I'm-

The consul's face changed. "Oh child! The limit is two-

"It's not Alec's." Was what Jace said, interrupting the consul. "It's not his."

"O-oh." Was what the consul said. The whole clave went quiet, and you could almost hear Clary's heart beating like a drum. "Well then, what do you intend to do…?" The clave seemed to not know what to do. There was no law against it...technically. So what would they do?

Jace motioned towards her. Of course. It was her decision, and she had decided what she was going to say a month prior, but right now, she felt herself doubting her decision. It would be so hard for this kid, whoever he or she wanted to do would be almost impossible. He or she would be looked upon with shame and judged the moment they were looked at. Did she really want that for a child? To be looked at like they didn't belong?

Just thinking about it made her stumble on the ground that she was standing on. She steadied herself.

"You okay?" Jace asked her.

She nodded. "Must've been tired." The whole clave was staring at them now. They were looking at her, and she could tell that they were in fact ashamed. Some of them were looking at Jace. Not with respect, but with uneasiness and distrust. Why had she let Jace get into her problems instead of dealing with them herself?

"I-I want to have this child, raise it if you will allow me, but not with the name of Lightwood but with either Morgenstern or…" She winced. "H-herondale."

Jace looked uneasy, but didn't let it affect the tone of his voice. "I agree, sir. If you won't let her take custody, than I will. I only have Xavier, after all."

The consul hushed the rising voices of outrage coming from the clave. "You do understand that this child will be considered a mistake and a tragedy to our society?"

Clary nodded, suddenly regretting her choice. Was it wise to do this? "I understand."

After fifteen minutes of waiting, the clave had finally come to a decision. "We try to avoid killing one of our own kind, so we'll make an exception and obviously won't kill your child. What we can do is let Ms Morgenstern-Lightwood and Mr Herondale have shared custody of their child, or they can give it up for adoption."

Clary sighed with relief, happiness obvious in her face. It was the first time she'd truly felt happy about something in a while.

"Maybe you almost passed out there because of stress of planning a funeral?" The consul suggested. "Perhaps Mr Herondale can take care of those matters. He was Mr Lightwood's parabatai after all." The clave cast another look at them in shame. It was the only thing that they could do. Lie, or let the baby get killed…

"Ms Morgenstern-Lightwood?"

"Yes?"

"Do you agree with what we just stated?"

"I would like to take care of some of the matters, but it will be alright with me if Jace were to help me with the p-planning." She looked away and started to grab her things to leave-

"One more thing, Clarissa." She looked back at the consul, who said, "In order to make what we just decided legal, you must marry Mr Herondale."

In order to keep her child alive, Clary would have to marry Jace Herondale, a boy she loved a long, long time ago. Was there a choice, really? She wouldn't be a Morgenstern. She wouldn't be a Lightwood. She would have to be a Herondale.

 _But is that what she really wanted?_

 **I'm sorry for leaving you guys with cliffhangers…**

 **Repeatedly. I hope you guys like this chapter and I have so much more planned, including more Meg drama(sorrry!) and yeah. Yo girl has been tryna right this for like a week but she has a concert tomorrow so she is dying inside :) Hoped ya liked it!**

 **Ps thank you Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by bye and gymratangie for reviewing and being awesome supporters of my work! Holy shiz this chapter is the longest I've ever written on !**

 **~Sara**


	10. Not Fun

**Okay, okay, okay. I realize that the last chapter was kind of annoying...I'm not going to add a Clary/Jace storyline, obviously, but the whole "marriage" thing is kind of something that I wanted to see happen. :) Sorry. I've taken a break from binging shows on Netflix and writing instead.**

 **~Sara**

"One more thing, Clarissa." The consul spoke, "In order to make what we decided legal, you must marry Mr. Herondale."

"What the hell do you mean, I have to marry Jace?" Clary said, a hand on her mouth. Why would they need her to marry Jace?

"You have to, Clarissa. As you know, this child will be considered a disgrace. To even allow this child to go to the Shadowhunter's Academy let alone be trained at an Institute. If you and Mr Herondale are married, then perhaps people may keep their opinions to themselves. This is just us being kind."

Clary almost laughed. Almost. _Kind?_ This is what the clave called kind? To force a woman into marrying a person that she didn't love? Well, she had to. To tell the truth would mean death for her child, and she couldn't bear the thought of that.

"Clary. Whatever you choose, I understand. Just know that the only reason I'm doing this is for Alec, alright?" Jace said quietly.

Clary suddenly felt very stupid. She'd been so caught up in the whole Sebastian thing that she'd almost forgotten about Alec. It was a lingering thought in the back of her mind. Clary didn't want to forget about anything that happened. She felt like an idiot for wanting to move on, let alone kiss a person like Sebastian.

"Clary?" She looked back up at Jace. She needed to keep this child. It was the only part of Alec that she had left.

" _Cla-ry. I'm dy-ing. You do-n't ha-ve to wor-ry a-bout me." He looked at her with wild eyes. "Whatever make-s you ha-ppy. I wa-n't y-ou to be hap-py."_

Clary inhaled and exhaled. "Yeah, let's do this stupid thing."

"Alright." She could hear the nervous tone underneath the layer of faked confidence in his voice. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want to this either, that she felt horrible for dragging him into this situation, that everything she was doing felt wrong. But all she said was "alright."

"Okay, then. Along with planning the funeral, you must also plan a wedding." A wedding and a funeral. Literally the two most opposite and terrible things to plan at the same time. Along with that, she had two children who had just lost a parent. What would they think of her when she announced that she would be having another kid?

Clary nodded her head, and then walked out alongside Jace.

"Jace, I'm so, so sorry."

"No, it's fine Clary. I'm doing this for Alec. He was my parabatai, my brother, and my best friend. If doing this helps you, then Alec would be happy. If Alec is in any sort of heaven, then I hope that when he sees what I'm doing for you, he'll be happy. I hope that wherever he is, he's not in any pain-"

 **RING RING RING**

The demon alerts started to ring all around Idris. " _Attention. All capable soldiers above the age of eighteen should report to Alicante immediately. There has been a demon attack in Alicante."_

"Alicante?" Clary whispered. _Xavier. Chris. Lily._

"The kids." Both Clary and Jace said at the same time.

 **Xavier and Chris(LOL this ship is sailing! Ps, the beginning is kind of a funny filler)**

"Chris, Xavier, please play with me." Lily tugged on Xavier's shirt. "Xavi, pleeaaaaase."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Lily, you can play on your own. You're six."

Xavier looked at Chris, surprised by how he just acted towards his sister. "Chris, I think maybe we should play with her." Listening to the wails coming from the little girl.

"You're right." Chris sighed. "I think I'm just tired. C'mon." They got up and followed Lily towards her room.

 **Couple minutes later…**

Xavier was on the floor, nail polish dripping in his hair and glitter all around him. Chris burst out laughing. Xavier didn't know what he looked like, and stared at a Chris with a blank look on his face.

"Give me a mirror."

Chris pointed toward a mirror on the wall across the room. Less than ten seconds later there was a scream that rang through the room as Chris laughed even harder.

"Hey! Don't laugh!" Taking a look at Xavier's blonde hair, which was now a weird shade of purple. There was random streaks of makeup all over his face, along with glitter glue and glitter all over his skin. This only made Chris laugh louder.

"I told you that you shouldn't have agreed to this!"

"Lily told me that it was a makeover!" Xavier touched his hair. "It's purple!"

"Well, I think it looks good." Chris smiled at him fondly as he saw Xavier rush to the bathroom.

"Chris! It's not coming out!" Lily giggled as she heard Xavier's panicked voice.

"Lily, what kind of nail polish is that?" Chris asked her.

She held up a bottle of...hair dye.

"Lily!" Chris cried out in between his fits of laughter. "Oh my god you're amazing!" He ruffled her hair and smiled at his sister, who had an evil grin on her face.

Xavier walked out of the bathroom, his face now makeup-free. "Chris, What the fuck did she do to me? I'm pretty sure this isn't nail polish. My hair is _fucking purple._ "

Chris started laughing again when he saw the look on his face. "H-hair d-dye."

"HAIR DYE? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

"Xav, there is a six year old in the room."

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HAIR!" He cried, his hands running through his violet locks of wavy hair. "NO!"

Chris stopped laughing. "I think it…" It was hard to keep a straight face, but he tried. "Looks….unique."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Xavier crossed his arms. "Can we at least bleach it and make it fade a little bit?"

Chris thought for a moment. "You know what? I think I might be able to come up with a rune for that."

"Oh, by the angel! Please, Chris." Xavier gave him a look that melted his laughing exterior and made him feel bad for laughing. He knew that Xavier did take pride in his hair.

Lily giggled, her small hands grabbing onto a stele and handing it to Chris. Chris took it and started to draw a rune on Xavier. Xavier smiled when his hair started to fade back into a lighter color. But instead of turning back into the original dirty blonde, it was a grey-blonde color of hair.

"At least it isn't neon purple." Xavier sighed. "My poor, poor hair."

"It'll grow back. Stop being a drama king!" Was what Lily said.

"More like Queen." Chris whispered in her ear.

"Chris! I heard that!" Xavier shouted, pulling Chris close and leaning in until he leaned closer and closer until…

He kicked Chris in the crotch.

"XAV!" Chris shouted, chasing him around. Lily got up as well and started throwing glitter at them.

 **RING RING RING**

" _Attention. All capable soldiers above the age of eighteen should report to Alicante immediately. There has been a demon attack in Alicante."_

Chris remembered the last attack, where Xavier had nearly died. He opened a hatch that led down to the basement. "Xav, Lily, get in. There's food, water, and other stuff down there." He looked around for his bow, but the only thing he saw was his father's bow and arrows. Shutting out his emotions, he grabbed it and jumped down to the basement where Xavier and Lily were.

 **Clary**

Nobody else knew that she was pregnant. She should fight to protect her family. She want to with all of her heart. She drew a seraph blade and ran to where the rest of the soldiers were heading towards.

 _I will avenge Alec._

 **Another chapter for you guys! Also, shoutout to ollierkyle for following** _ **and**_ **favoriting! Special thanks to Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by bye. Hope you liked this chapter!**

 **~Sara**


	11. Alicante in Flames

**Is it weird that suddenly I'm thinking of changing the ending? I'm actually really sorry about what I'm planning to do in the future. Please don't get mad me. Also, I'm trying to build up a cute Clary-Jace friendship to make up for what he did(killing Seb), not that he can really make up for it, but idk. I feel like he's a good character, I just don't ship him and Clary. Also, we passed 1000 views for this story! Okay, rant is done now LOL**

 **~Sara**

 **Clary**

Alicante was in flames. Clary looked around at the city of human-angel hybrids in tears. Where were Chris, Lily and Xavier? She looked back at the flames nervously.

She had made her decision to come to the battlefield, and once she made a decision, nothing would change. She reached for the stele inside the pocket of her gear, but instead felt somebody's hand.

"Clary, you can't go in there." Jace said calmly. "I'm sure they've evacuated."

"They didn't have _time,_ Jace. Xavier has his injuries, Lily is only six years old, and Chris doesn't even have his weapons with him! Sure, there may be an emergency room inside the basement, but if the city's on fire, then they can't get out!" Her voice rose a couple octaves due to her increasing state of panic as she sobbed into his arms.

Jace looked at the flames, then Clary, then back at the burning city. "I'll go then."

"No, Jace! You can't leave me here! If you go, then I'll go!" She struggled against his iron-hard grip.

"But what if they've actually evacuated, and you go in there and get hurt, huh? That's not good either! Let's face it Clary, I'm the one who should go. I'm replaceable, you aren't. You can create new runes, for god's sake!"

Clary looked down at her hands. This was the first time that she really, truly felt useless.

"Don't give me that look, Fray." Jace said.

"But what if you-

"We've taken on Lilith. Who said that we can't take a little bit of fire?"

"I'm serious, Herondale." Clary snarled. "What if you were to die, huh? That ruins everything!"

"You think I don't know that?" Jace took in a deep breath. "Look-if they're in there, they're alive. They're literally the smartest kids I know. But if-" His voice slightly cracked, but he continued on. "If I were to die, just-just take care of Xavier, alright?"

Clary nodded, watching him go. "Don't you dare die on me, Herondale." She whispered, a hand held out into the fire.

 **Jace(Yes, a JACE pov)**

 _Xavier, you better be alive._ Jace thought as he plunged through the flames, drawing a Breathing Under Duress **(A/N-breathing in air and smoke-it's a rune that Clary invented-check Shadowhunter's Codex)** and the Shield of Fire rune. He accidentally drew a wrong line and had to redo it. It was times like this when he missed Alec the most. He missed the feeling when Alec used to draw runes on him, making him feel ten times stronger than he did now.

Jace didn't notice that he was subconsciously touching his faded parabatai rune until he felt a little stab of pain where it once was. It was grief coming out of his rune in its physical form. When Alec died, it was like a part of him disappeared as well.

Before he knew it, he was in front of the Lightwood Mansion. He looked it over and gasped, seeing that almost half of the building was in flames.

He could either assume that they had left the building and save himself, or he could go inside and risk them not being there. The choice to pick was fairly obvious.

He kicked the flaming door down, suddenly grateful that runes existed. _Where is the secret chamber that Clary was talking about? Oh, right-under Chris' room._

Jace was filled with panic when he realized that since Lily was only six years old, she couldn't have any runes applied to her skin, because it could very possibly kill her, and if they didn't give her runes-

she would either be burnt or develop a lung issue from all the smoke in the air. He prayed to the angels that they would be alright.

 _Don't take Xavier, please, not my Xavier._ He opened the latch to the room and saw-

 **Chris**

"Is that smoke, Chris?" Xavier asked him.

"I-I don't know, Xav. J-just draw the breathing under duress rune." Chris didn't even feel the pain as he felt Xavier carve a rune into his palm. He opened the latch and immediately saw smoke, and a shadowy figure.

He felt a sharp stab of pain, opening his eyes and seeing that there was a shax demon right in front of him, its claws digging into his shoulder. He yanked himself off of it, and yelled out, "Xav! There's a Shax! Protect Lily, please-and don't get hurt!" While he was saying that, the fire struck his shoulder as well, causing him to scream.

The pain was still there, but the urge to protect those who were below him drove him into rage rather than the opposite, which was fear.

He felt for the short seraph blade inside his pocket, and pulled it out.

The Shax demon lunged, but Chris was faster, holding out the blade by its sharpest point so that the Shax impaled itself and fell to the floor. With ichor and his own blood all over him, Chris stumbled back into the room, where Xavier was hugging a crying Lily.

"What happened?" Both Xavier and Chris said at the same time.

"Go first, Xav."

Xavier looked up at Chris with scared eyes. "S-she can't breathe. It's the smoke a-and the flames. I-I don't know what to do."

Lily couldn't possibly handle runes at this stage of her life. She was too young, too fragile. It would be suicide to attempt to draw a rune on her-but it would also be suicide to not try.

"Lily. Lily, can you hear me? It's Chris."

She whimpered, breathing in and out, and in and out again, without success. She just suffocated more.

"Do you want me to draw a rune on you?" Chris asked. He didn't want anything to happen to his sister. His sister was literally the sweetest human being on the planet. He looked deep into her tear-filled eyes.

She nodded.

"Should I do it?" Chris asked Xavier.

Xavier nodded, his fingers trembling as he handed his own stele to Chris.

Chris shut his eyes. Every moment he waited, Lily's life was ticking away. He didn't want to be the cause of Lily's death, but he desperately needed to save her.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Xavier. He put his empty hand on his and started the first line to the rune.

He heard a whimper come from Lily, who began to shriek in pain.

 _What on Earth have I done?_

 **Sorrrrrry. I feel like Satan right now. Oh well, too bad then. I have a concert on Thursday so wish me luck and also how would you guys feel if after I finished this fanfic I wrote a Xav/Chris one? Just came to my mind, please lemme know if I should do that or just more Clabastian. Also, somebody come up with a ship name for them please! LOL**

 **~Sara**


	12. Parabatai

**Hey! I'm backkkk. I think I might be taking a break during the holidays, but I might actually update more, so it's unclear for now, but if I end up not updating for a few weeks, that's the reason. :) Also, the ship name for Chris/Xavier is either xris or chrivier. Please lemme know which one you prefer. :) Btw it is literally 3 am and I'm watching To All the Boys I've Loved Before lmao.**

 **~Sara**

 **Jace**

Jace could hear screams coming from underneath the hidden door. Fear filled his body, as he recognized this voice. _Lily._ He thought, pulling the handle to the secret room in the basement. He saw Lily, writhing on the floor clutching her shoulder. Smoke was coming from whatever it was, and Chris and Xavier were surrounding her in panic.

"Xavier, what happened?" He demanded.

"We had to draw a rune on her!" Xavier continued to hold onto Lily's hand. "She said she couldn't breathe!"

This was bad news. Lily wasn't physically or mentally ready for the runes. She was too fragile to handle the burning feeling, and she was too young to start learning about runes. Putting a powerful rune on her-that was the worst possible thing they could've done.

Still, she was alive. Barely, but she was alive.

"Alright." Jace responded. "Is Chris okay?"

"I'm right here." Chris said, trying to hide the slight tremble in his voice. "We need to get her help." He looked around. "Where's my mom?"

"She couldn't come because of the-I mean, she's back in the other side of Alicante." Jace replied, checking for Lily's vitals.

"Will she be alright?" The look of terror was evident on Chris' face.

"I wish I could say that she would, but honestly, I don't know. We have to get her to Brother Zachariah." Jace said softly, hoisting Lily up onto his back, trying to ignore the wails coming from her mouth.

Xavier stood up, but Chris stumbled as he tried to lift himself off of the floor.

"Dammit." He cursed, touching what seemed to be a deep wound in his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Jace asked. "What happened?"

"It's just a scratch, I'll be fine." Chris managed to get himself off of the floor with the help of Xav, ignoring their stares. "Lily's the priority here. We can deal with whatever injuries we have later."

Getting out of the house was a struggle, but they managed to make it back to where a horrified Clary was.

"LILY? CHRIS!" She cried, hugging Chris tightly. Xavier saw him wince, but then cover it up, not wanting to worry his mother. Those concerns melted away when she saw Lily.

"Lily?" Jace watched as Clary saw her daughter.

"We need Brother Zachariah." Jace said.

" _I'm right here."_ Everybody heard inside their minds. " _I shall see what I can do, but there is no guarantee that there will be a way. She could become forsaken."_

"We'll take the risk." Clary said. "Just help my daughter."

 **Chris**

Chris could see black spots in his vision but ignored them. Nobody needed to hear complaints from him when his sister was dying. He looked back at the black and red shoulder of his. It was charred in some places, and demon blood covered it, making it feel as if it were on fire.

He didn't dare touch it, for if he did, he feared that he might make it worse. He tried his best to ignore the pain and instead focused on Brother Zachariah.

" _We need the power of parabatai with a stronger bond than any other, for that is what will create a stronger rune than anything ever seen before."_

Naturally, Chris looked around, but since the whole city had evacuated to a farther shelter, only Clary, Jace, Xavier, Zachariah, Lily and himself were there. Jace, Clary and Zachariah didn't have parabatai, at least not anymore. The only people in the area capable of the ceremony were Xavier and Chris.

"Xavier, Chris, I know that you two are best friends and neither of you have parabatai. I'm pretty sure that you two are gonna eventually do it anyway, so why not do it right now?" Jace asked them.

 _No, anything but this._ If they were to complete the ceremony-Chris new about the curse of the parabatai and why there were strict rules about them falling in love.

But then again, nobody knew about them.

It was Lily's life or what he wanted. Could he really sacrifice his possible future to save his sister's future?

Before he could even process what was going on, both Xavier and Chris blurted out the same exact words.

"Yes, we'll do it."

Chris looked at Xavier with tortured eyes. If anybody knew, well, they wouldn't be able to be Shadowhunters anymore. But if this process were to save Lily, then it didn't matter.

Lily was perfect, and she would always be. She deserved to live more than he deserved Xavier. He needed to do this, or he would never feel right again. It was natural for Jace to think that they would perform the ritual. After all, they'd been nothing but friends for years.

Brother Zachariah took out his own special stele and looked at the both of them.

" _Are you ready to perform the ceremony of the parabatai?"_

"Yes." They said at the same time, both of their eyes on Lily.

" _Both of you know the oath, yes?"_ They nodded.

They linked arms, a hidden secret flowing between the two of them. The tortured look in their eyes were evident to only themselves as Xavier started the oath.

"Entreat me not to leave thee, or return from following after thee." Xavier started.

"For whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge." Chris responded.

After that, they repeated the rest of the oath together as Brother Zachariah burned two parabatai runes onto their shoulders. They could feel each other's pain and how both of them were left feeling empty after the words they were speaking.

"Thy people shall be my people, and thy god my god.

Where thou diets, will I did, and there will I be buried.

The Angel do so to me, and more also,

If aught but death part thee and me."

They could feel as they became linked together. Everything they said was true. They would die for each other, they would follow each other to hell or heaven or whatever in the world existed, but not because they were best friends.

It was because they loved each other.

After the oath was over, Chris couldn't take it anymore and ran away. _No. Nonononono._ He loved being a part of something, he loved being a Shadowhunter, and most importantly, he loved Chris.

He could hear footsteps behind him.

"Chris." _Xav, don't touch me. You can't._ He thought as he felt Xavier's arms go around him. _Xav, stop._

He pushed the hand away, not looking at him.

"Chris, remember why we did this. Your sister is over there."

"I know! I know I know I know. I don't want to feel like this! I feel so empty, like something is ripped out."

"Don't you think I feel the same? Chris, I-"

"Don't finish that sentence." Chris lightly kissed Xav, forgetting about what happened.

As they melted into the kiss, they felt a strong force of energy come in between them.

"No, we can't." Chris said in a broken voice. "We need to help my sister. That's why we did this."

"Chris-

"Xavier, we need to go." What he really wanted to say was: _Xav, I love you._

 **I am literally Satan. Anyways, the plan is that I'm going to reveal what happened to Seb, the whole parabatai thing, etcetera. I'm so sorrry for doing this. Also, I think that the whole parabatai thing is going to be a main part for the sequel to this that I'm planning that's going to be a whole Chris/Xavier fanfic. :) Do you like the ship name Xris or Chrivier better? Hope you have a happy early Christmas(even though I'm atheist lmao), Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc. Love you all and Happy Holidays!**

 **~Sara**


	13. The Disappearance of Many Things

**Ship name=Xris! Anyways, Happy Holidays everybody and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Also, does anybody know where the line break buton went?**

 **Xavier**

How many people in the world could there be who were pretending to be alright when really, deep inside their hearts, they weren't?

This was the question that kept haunting Xav. How many people were there who had been lying to him, smiling and saying that they're happy and that they feel good and just showing something that they needed to be on the outside, when on the inside they felt like they couldn't function?

Xav should be happy. Lily was alive. Lily was alright.

Now that she was, he felt guilty for thinking this, but…

He wished that he hadn't became parabatai with Chris. He wished that he could turn back time and not do it.

He felt so, so guilty for thinking these thoughts that different thoughts seemed to creep inside of him. Self doubt, self-hatred and guilt was all that clouded his mind.

He wanted to tell everybody how he felt, but that would only hurt more people.

The lies began a long time ago, but they faded away for a while. Today, they had come back. " _I'm alright." "No, I'm fine." "Really, I'm okay."_ Most of those followed with a smile. His father always told him to tell the truth.

But what if telling the truth would only hurt more people?

" _Telling the truth will make you avoid problems in the future."_

Was that really true? If he were to just walk right up to Brother Zachariah and tell him about what he and his best friend had been doing for the past few weeks, would that really change anything?

No, no it wouldn't. The only thing that it would do would be to possibly have himself be removed from the world of the Nephilim, or worse, he could go crazy. Keeping his secrets to himself was the only thing that would keep him from losing control of his own fate.

This is why he kept a smile on his face.

 **Clary**

Seeing Xavier and Chris become parabatai was painful, and yet she couldn't handle the pain of knowing that her daughter was right there, in pain, yet still holding on.

Should she have spoken up?

Guilt had filled her soul when she saw the tortured looks in both of their eyes as they vowed to be friends, just _friends,_ for the rest of their lives.

If she had spoken up, Lily might have died. Chris and Xavier would be alright. What she had chosen was right, she told herself. Yet there was a voice in the back of her head screaming at her, telling her that she had ruined not one, but two lives.

She kept seeing Chris' eyes, begging her to speak up, to say something-

Instead, she had decided to let them suffer. She hadn't been selfish, had she? The whole parabatai thing wasn't for her own benefit, it was to keep somebody alive.

She looked back down at Lily who was sitting next to her in the infirmary. _Lily._ Poor, sweet Lily who had a whole life ahead of her was saved because of the power of that one rune.

Jace and Brother Zachariah hadn't even questioned why their rune was so powerful, or why it only took one rune for her to start healing.

From an outsider's point of view, it should be obvious. It should be obvious that they were more than just friends. Yet those who were the closest to them didn't see anything there. By the angel, the only reason that Clary knew was because of the moment in the hospital.

Yet she'd never spoken a word about it to her son.

There was so much regret yet Clary still did feel that she did do the right thing.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth it to possibly hurt her son? To have him drift farther apart from him then he already had? Sure, they loved each other, but Chris had always been closer to his father. So had Lily.

It was her fault that she had spent so many nights out in the Silent City creating new runes, forming new weapons with the Iron Sisters..

She realized that even if she was a war hero that her kids were more important. What shocked her was that it took everything that had happened over the past few days for her to really figure that out.

Alec had figured it out a long time ago. He was the one who would make an effort to teach them things that she hadn't even bothered to. She never taught them or trained them or..

The grief and the pain of Alec's death was returning as she cursed herself for not being there as much as she could have. She should have cherished everything, she should have-

The whirlwind of thoughts that overwhelmed her mind was too much to describe. Why the hell had she focused more on her career and her talent then her children?

She started to cry as if she was a lake that had been filling up with rain for so long that it was finally overflowing. Finally broken.

"Mommy?" That sweet voice brought her back to reality. This little girl, this little girl that had never done anything wrong. Yet she hadn't been there for her when her father died. Clary had acted like a broken doll when both of her kids felt an overwhelming loss. Why hadn't she been there? Why hadn't she done anything?

She was an awful person, an awful mother.

"Yes?" She responded to her daughter, suddenly almost expecting hatred to come out of the mouth of the six year old.

"Mommy, are you okay?" It was always _Are you okay?_ Not _I'm scared, mom_ or _I need you, mom._

This made her cry harder. No, she couldn't cry. "Lily, are you okay?"

Her blue eyes met her green ones as Lily smiled at her. "I'm worried about Chris." Was what Lily said. It was always another person. She was always worried about others.

"Why are you worried?" Clary asked her with concern.

"When he came to visit me, he looked so sad. Is it something I did? Did I hurt him?" Clary realized how special her daughter really was. She cared about others so much that sometimes she didn't bother to answer the question that she'd asked. _Are you okay?_

"No! Of course you didn't-

"I know what's going on, mommy. Chris and Xavier aren't supposed to be brothers, they're supposed to kiss and fall in love, just like you and daddy or princesses and princes. Actually, can princes be in love? I think they can."

The sweetness and overall innocence of her question made Clary's heart melt. This girl was only six years old, yet she could see what was going on between the two boys. She couldn't help but feel guilty.

"It's my fault that they can't kiss, mommy."

"No it isn't, Lily. Nothing is your fault."

"They both wanted to help me. That's why they became brothers. They didn't want to." A stubborn tone came from her mouth.

"We can figure it out, Lily."

"We can?" Clary saw it. It was hope in Lily's eyes.

"Yes, we can. I promise you."

"Do you swear on the angel?"

"Yes." She responded. _No._

 **Chris**

Wow. The guy he was in love with was his parabatai. He didn't how to express his feelings. It was like he was incapable doing that. It was like his heart had been ripped out from his chest and what was left was an empty hole.

It was an empty hole where he was all alone in the darkness where he had nobody to call to for help. Either that or he was being ignored.

He felt like he had no soul, like a part of him was gone.

People might tell him that he seemed a little bit dramatic, but that was how he felt.

He had been in love for the first time, or he thought it was love. But how could he have been if this was fate tearing them apart?

Xavier was right there, across the room, yet Chris felt alone. Whenever Xav made an attempt to talk to him, Chris would shut him out. He was going back to the lonely place he had been in before he'd met Xav.

He was glad that his sister was alright. He really was. It was just that because she was alive that he could regret that he had this stupid permanent rune on his chest. There was pain, so much pain.

He looked in the mirror and saw his father staring back at him. He punched the mirror, not wanting to be reminded of what happened. _Be strong,_ he told himself. _You can't think about this. Be strong._

"Chris?" It was Xavier's familiar voice.

 _Don't talk to him. Don't. DonttalktohimDonttalktohimDonttalktohimDonttalktohimDonttalktohim._

"Chris, I'm not going to talk to you about the situation."

"Then what do you want?" He was shocked at how cold his own voice sounded. He saw Xavier flinch and softened his voice. "Xav, I-I don't want to do this right now." He turned away.

"It's about your mom." Chris froze.

"What about her?" He demanded.

"She's gone missing. Last night she-" The rest of the words were a blur. She couldn't lose his mother too. _No. Nononononono._

"Chris, I-

Chris couldn't hold in all of his emotions anymore. Whatever control he had over them was gone. He had lost grip. He collapsed into Xavier's arms and let himself cry.

 _Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you've been strong for too long._

 **Hola. I am sorry. Again. This was soooo depressing ahahahaha LOL thanks to Horses8 for coming up with the ship name Xris. Thanks Ruth M and Lullaby baby rock a by bye once more for your continued support. Shoutout to Klary FairWood and bribri13000 for following this fanfic recently! Thanks gymratangie for the other ship name idea as well!**

 **Happy Holidays!**

 **~Sara**


	14. Stop

**Holy crap, I got Queen of Air and Darkness and I'm halfway through it (SPOILERS) and apparently the Seelie Queen had a child with SEBASTIAN? AHHHH. (SPOILERS DONE) This book is literally 800+ pages long omg. Anyways, I'm also thinking of writing a Kieran/Mark fanfic, so gimme ur thoughts on that if you've read TDA.**

 **I've learned so much about the parabatai curse so I'm obviously excited for the sequel haha.**

 **Anyways, this fanfic is almost at its end, and I obviously already have a Chris/Xavier centered sequel planned, don't worry! I think 2-4 chapters should be remaining, depending on how much I decide to write. Love you all and hope you had a happy holidays and have a great new year!**

 **~Sara**

 **(PLEASE READ IF YOU DO NOT REMEMBER/HAVE NOT READ THE FIRST BOOK IN THIS FANFIC SERIES)**

 **Also, as a reminder just to refresh the timeline:**

 **In this timeline, Book 6 of TMI never happened, therefore the characters in TDA's parents are still alive, therefore Emma and Julian(TDA) never had to become parabatai, and they don't have any major impact at all.**

 **Chris and Xav however do know about the curse because a couple of years ago they wanted to become parabatai but then Xavier decided not to, explaining the curse but not telling Chris why he broke off the ceremony. Emma and Julian's tale has not been told, therefore they'd be basically their parallel of them in this version of the timeline, making them the 2 parabatai who have fallen in love.**

 **1st Book(That Was Not Expected): This timeline takes place after Book 5 where Jace is hit by glorious and is separated from Sebastian, but instead Clary falls for Sebastian..Jace kills Sebastian, causing Lilith to go bonkers and try to kill Clary, and Clary kills her, etc.. She and Alec bond and fall in love.**

 **2nd Book: Years later, Clary and Alec have kids(Chris and Lily). So does Jace(Xavier.)**

 ***Disclaimer* I do not own TMI, TDA, or TID. I have just created an alternate timeline.**

 **Enjoy! Haha haha.**

 **Clary**

Clary trudged on through the deep caves of hell. She would find Sebastian, and she would save him from Lilith.

" _Clary, Clary please!" She was walking towards the Lightwood Manor where Sebastian was stuck inside. She couldn't help but wonder if he was alright, if he was still there. Sure enough, he was…sort of._

 _Some sort of hologram-like image was shining inside of the burnt home, Sebastian's black blood splattered across his face as he screamed in pain._

" _Sebastian?" She reached out for him, but he was not really there._

" _Clary, it's Asmodeus…I did something wrong to him while I was in hell, and now-" His voice was cut off by a whipping noise followed by more blood._

" _Sebastian!" Clary repeated, as if hoping that saying his name would change something._

" _I'm asking for your help-" More whipping. "Please, if you care about me at all, help me, please." His voice was begging, pleading for her help._

 _Clary knew she shouldn't go, that she would be leaving without any notice, because everybody would prevent her from going. She shouldn't, but she had to. She didn't want to care, but she did. "I'm coming. I'll save you, I'll help you, I promise."_

 _Sebastian's eyes were green. They were green._

 _Clary's shock increased at what he said next. "Clarissa, he removed Lilith's blood." He was right, there was some blood on his clothes that was scarlet. The blood was real. It was Nephilim blood._

" _Sebastian, I promise I'll be there." Clary was absolutely amazing at making reckless decisions, and this was one of them. She saw one thing in Sebastian's eyes that she never thought that she would-_

 _Hope._

As she wandered through the deep caves of Hell, she thought of many things. For example, Chris and Lily. She'd been so stupid to just come here and now she had no way out.

How long would she be here? Time was different in Hell. It could be minutes in the surface, or years. _Oh god, what if I have my baby in Hell?_ What if when she went back, her kids were all grown up, or dead, or…

 _Stop. Focus on saving Sebastian. Right now, that's what matters._

She looked down at her stomach. Clearly, some time had passed by. She looked in front of her and saw silvery hair and black eyes. "Sebastian?"

"Clary!" Relief was the first thing she felt.

 **Chris**

"What do you mean, my mother is gone?" Chris said after composing himself. "She wouldn't just leave like that!"

"I don't know, Chris. Maybe-

There were just too many 'maybes' going on right now in his life. _Maybe_ they could break the parabatai bond that is said to be irreplaceable. _Maybe_ the curse was a myth. _Maybe_ he didn't really love Xavier and it was just his mind tricking him-

The other two could be true. The last one was not. His brain was making up excuses for himself so that he wouldn't feel any guilt or pain, but in the end, his heart was hurting even more than it had been before.

 _You love him, his brain said._

 _No, I don't. He replied almost pleadingly to his mind._

 _You do. Don't lie._

 _I don't! I can't. I can't. I can't. "When two parabatai fall in love, they destroy everybody they love. They destroy everything until they finally destroy each other." Brother Zachariah's voice echoed in his mind._

"-hris! Chris!" It was Xavier. "We'll find her, I promise."

"I don't want you to promise me something that you can't accomplish." There was a formality in his tone. There was an edge in his voice, a sadness that was pulling him away from everybody.

"I just wanted to-

"I don't care what you wanted to do." _What the fuck are you doing?_ "I honestly…" He took a deep breath. "I'm honestly just tired of everybody and everything."

"Look, I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but-

"If you understand, then you wouldn't be talking to me!" Chris had finally snapped. "Leave. Me. Alone."

Xavier's face was full of shock and hurt. "Chris, I-

"Unless you can somehow reverse the parabatai ceremony or break the rune, I don't think I give a fuck, Xavier!" Chris didn't remember the last time that he'd called Xav Xavier. He'd called Meg Megara, but never Xav Xavier.

"Don't call me that, Chris." It was Xavier's turn to sound tired.

"Just shut up." Chris' head was in his his hands, distress evident in his voice.

"I want to break the curse, and I'll do anything to break it, okay? I just don't see if there's a reason that you should be withdrawing from me. You have to talk to me if you need me."

"You have no idea how much I need you…" He took a deep breath. "How much…I want you."

"Of course I understand." Xavier said, suddenly noticing how close they were. "I need you too."

They moved closer to each other. Chris could feel Xavier's breath against his neck, and his breath hitched as he let him kiss him, his lips brushing against his own. "Xav…"

As Xavier's lips trailed farther down his neck, Chris didn't want him to stop. "Xav…I…"

"What?"

His voice went flat and cold. It took so much effort for him to say this. It was so hard. So, so hard. "Stop."

They sprung apart, and Xavier ran his hand through his newly silvery hair. "I think I want to find a way to break that curse." He smiled lightly.

"Yeah." Chris smiled a rare smile.


	15. Six Months LaterCurses and Secrets

**I finished Queen of Air and Darknessss! There are so many questions I had about the parabatai curse answered so that I can finally start preparing for the sequel to this, which means(sadly) that this fanfic is coming to a conclusion. :( Anyways, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE XRIS FANFIC AAAAHHHH. Other than that, I think I'll also be writing a Mark/Kieran fanfic or a Ty/Kit fanfic so if u guys ship that and read TDA, please check that out when it comes. I'm also thinking of writing 2 more Clabastian fanfic, one based on the Sebastian from Thule(you'll get it if u read QoAaD) and some other one. So, onto the story-**

 **~Sara**

 **Clary**

Sebastian's eyes were flickering from green to black, over and over and over. For a second, that was all that Clary could look at. She finally snapped out of it when she saw the demon in front of her.

"Lilith?" She gasped, remembering what had happened all those years ago when she, Alec, Simon and Maia had killed her. "This can't be. It's-

"Impossible?" Lilith finished for her.

"But I thought…I thought it was Asmodeus who captured you, not Lilith!"

"You weren't _expecting_ me, huh? Not after you obliterated me into microscopic pieces, and left me alone for Asmodeus to find me? You know what I did to Asmodeus? After he lost Magnus **(Oh, btw Magnus/Alec didn't get together in this timeline, I ship it tho)** after the War, he was in pieces. I drew his energy and made myself whole once again." Her face changed to more of an annoyed one. "As a side effect, I can take on his form whenever I wish. Annoying? Yes. Helpful? Sometimes."

Clary shivered, suddenly fearing for her life. She put on an angry face instead. "What do you want with Sebastian?"

"What do I want with him?" Lilith pretended to be shocked. "He's my son!"

"Even if he is, he hates you!"

Lilith smiled. "Sebastian, dear, do you hate me?"

To a stranger, it might have looked real, but Clary could tell that Sebastian was lying. "No, of course I don't hate you."

Clary clenched her teeth but tried not to show it. She searched deep into her mind for runes, but none came. "Then why did you call me here, Lilith?"

"To finish what we started sixteen years ago, Clarissa." She smiled, her long and sharp dark nails against her neck. "But I don't want to hurt you, sweetheart. After all, that's my grandchild." She snarled as she put a hand to her stomach.

Clary was filled with confusion as she let her guard down for a moment. "What do you mean, _your_ grandchild? Alec-

"Who do you think sent you those dreams?"

Clary was without words as she remembered her dreams. The dreams about Sebastian. The dreams where- _stop thinking about it._ "What do you mean though? This is Alec's baby. I never, ever would cheat on him-

"Who said that those dreams weren't a form of reality, or a different dimension?" Lilith questioned. "What if it was an alternate reality? What if I sent Sebastian into your dreams?"

"That can't be…" _No, it's not possible. I can't get pregnant from dreaming._ "Stop your lies, Lilith. I don't believe you."

"But it is true," Lilith said, "Do I have a reason to lie to you? I've already been destroyed by you once, and I'm sure that you can do it again."

"But I…" She looked at Sebastian. "Is… this true?" She got softer and softer as she continued, "Please don't tell me that that's true."

Sebastian slowly nodded, his eyes still shifting colors.

"You _lied_ to me. You said that everything was going to be alright! I thought that you were going to _be there_ for me, not pull me into another mess of demons versus Shadowhunters! I don't want anything to do with you if this is going to happen to me! How much time has passed on Earth, back in Alicante?" Clary was scared and confused and overwhelmed at the same time. "Just tell me how much time has passed!" Desperation crept into her voice.

"Six months…" Sebastian muttered as his mother finished his sentence.

"You're nine months along, sweetheart."

"What the fuck?" Clary didn't usually swear, but right now it felt like everything she knew was falling apart. Reality was crumbling around her and the leftover debris was being destroyed by Lilith. She didn't feel like she knew Sebastian.

Had he been conspiring with his mother the whole time, or was he forced to? Did he know about this, or had he thought that it was just a dream as well? How was she nine months pregnant? How… So many questions were flooding through her head. It was like water was just overflowing and still it kept coming in the form of questions. What was a lie? What is the truth?

"I…" Clary pretended to fall over and instead swung at Lilith with her steel and seraph blade.

 **Chris**

Six months and no sign of his mother. Six months and no way to break the curse. The runes Xavier gave him now burned, and his skin felt hot like fire whenever he thought about him. Everything was painful. He and Lily lived with Jace and Xavier now. It wasn't bad, but it was still lonely.

Today, Chris felt more lonely than he had in months. They wore white for the ceremony of the dead, and mourning runes covered his arms. Lily couldn't bare runes, but she wore white. The remains of tears were streaked across her face, and her nose and eyes were read.

"I miss him." Lily sniffled. "I miss mommy too."

Unlike most others, Chris hadn't given up on his father. Still, they were holding a funeral for both his mother and his father. Losing both parents in less than a year hurt so, so much.

Waiting for the silent brothers to arrive with his father's body, those who knew their parents were speaking.

"Hey." Jace cleared his throat. "You all know who I am, but that doesn't matter. Alec Lightwood didn't choose how he was gonna die. He died of demon pox, not bravely during a battle, or of old age, like he was supposed to. He didn't die in an honorable way, yet his legacy will live on. You know why? Alexander Gideon Lightwood was the kindest, most caring person I ever knew, and to have him as my parabatai…" His voice cracked. "I met him when I was a scared ten year old boy. Alec was my best friend, he was like a person that I hadn't met but still knew better than anybody. Without Alec, it's like there's a part of me that's missing…a part of me that's just gone. Disappeared along with his laughter, his voice, his kindness." He paused.

"Alec was an amazing father, an amazing husband, an amazing friend." He stopped, unable to speak anymore. Chris knew that by where his hand was that it was the parabatai rune just underneath his shirt. The place where the rune was gone, yet there was still a literal scar over his heart.

A rare appearance from Simon, Maia, and Isabelle to honor the legacy of a hero.

The silent brothers finally emerged from the depths of the Silent City, with Alec's body.

Setting Alec's body on top of the pyre and then lighting it on fire, Chris wanted to yell out: _Don't get rid of it, please! Please!_

But he knew that if his body wasn't burned, his ashes wouldn't be able to be buried in the Silent City among the honored dead, so he shut his mouth.

He zoned out as he saw as people he knew and people he didn't know came up to him and said things like _I'm so sorry or he was a great guy or may he Rest In Peace._

"Chris, can I talk to you?" Xavier's voice snapped him out of his trance.

"What is it? I'm kind of busy…" Chris' voice grew quiet, paralleling his mother's when he got worried or scared.

"Please." Xavier said, changing his voice to a whisper. "It's about the curse, Chris. Please."

Chris quickly grabbed Xavier's hand and dragged him into a dark alley in the Silent City. "What is it, Xav?"

Xavier unwrapped the bandage from one of his hands with a miserable look on his face. Chris gasped, seeing that there were black webs on his palm, covering his skin. It seemed to be spreading, spreading slowly. "Chris, it's happening."

"Shit." Chris muttered. "Xav, when did this start happening?"

"Yesterday, when we-

"Shit. Shitshitshit. We shouldn't have…no, no this can't be happening. I don't-I can't…" Chris looked at Xav's hand again with concern.

Xavier looked at him for a second. "Let me see your hand."

Chris held up his hand, peeling off the glove. Black webs. All over his skin.

 **Only like 2-3 more chapters left? WTH?! Anyways, I'm so excited for the Xris fanficccc! Whaddya guys think(only people who've read TDA) about a Kit/Ty or Mark/Kieran fanfic? Anyways, I'm also gonna write more Clabastian fits after this and the Xris fanfic! :) hope you liked the chapter and clifffffhanger! Thanks to Lullaby baby rock a by bye, Ruth M, Horses8, and many more people!**

 **~Sara**


	16. Death is not the End

**Heeeey! I'm not gonna talk and I'm just gonna let you people start reading. 1 chapter left after this one, I believe. Next chapter I'm gonna have a really long thank you speech written.**

 **Clary/Seb**

"Nice try, Clarissa." Lilith smiled devilishly at her and easily lifted her off of the ground. After that, she took both the stele and the seraph blade from her and tossed them to the floor. "Nice try." She said once more in a crueler voice as Clary was tossed to the ground.

"What are you gonna do to me?" Clary asked. "Just get it over with!"

"Fine." Lilith said. "I was going to let you say goodbye to those you loved, but I guess I won't!" The fury was clear in her voice, and Clary suddenly regretted saying anything in the fear that she would do something to her…something awful.

Lilith's hands shot out from her side quicker than Clary could draw a rune to escape. Her nails turned into claws like they had many years before. Her eyes were the color of fire and the dress she was wearing seemed to attach itself onto her, making her look like what she truly was…a demon.

Staring into Clary's eyes, Lilith drew her hands back and struck Clary in the chest. "Die!" She screamed.

Clary's eyes were wide with disbelief as she saw and felt Lilith's claws tear out of her chest, leaving a huge whole in her chest. She barely felt the blood as it flowed out of the wound, making her gear red.

"The…" She whispered, but changed her gaze to Sebastian. "W-" Blood started to drip out of her mouth, but she continued, saying, "Why?" She croaked out, the betrayal and sadness clear in her voice. "Why?"

As more and more blood came out of her mouth, she clutched at her lungs and went limp.

Only then was Sebastian able to react. "This wasn't part of the deal!" He yelled, "You said that you would let her live! You promised that if I came back, she would live! I didn't ask you to give her that vision of me, Lilith!"

Lilith drew her hand back and slapped him in the face, hard. "Yes, but she disobeyed. The same will happen to you if you disobey me!"

"But she was pregnant, you bitch!"

"Do you think that I would kill my own grandchildren?"

"Yes." Lilith pretended to be shocked.

"They're alive, my dearest son." She said, "They're not dead, but Clary is."

"Couldn't you just left them both alive?"

"You mean, all three?"

Sebastian didn't respond at first, but after a couple minutes, he seemed able to speak once more. "What? What do you mean, _three?_ "

Lilith merely smirked at her son. "Three," She said. She walked toward's Clary's body and set her fingers on her stomach. Sebastian looked away until he heard crying.

"Lilith, I told you that I don't want anything to do with-

She tossed the babies to the floor, but they didn't cry. "I will transform them into the most powerful beings in this world and other worlds. They will be my disciples, my minions."

"I didn't agree to-

"That's enough from you!" Lilith screeched. "You will not get in the way of my plans once again, or I will have to get rid of you."

"Fine, then dispose of me like you did Clary."

"Oh, I have something much better planned for you." Lilith lifted him up along with Clary's body, tossing him off the edge of the cliff that they were standing on, Clary's body rubbing against him as they fell.

He landed to the ground with a thud. He immediately let go of Clarys' body.

Her eyes were an unnaturally bright shade of green, and they were wide open. The blood was still wet, and it now covered Sebastian's shirt. He could remember her last words.

" _Why?"_

But he didn't know why. Why was he so stupid? Why didn't he say anything when Clary clearly needed him to speak up? He'd been so caught up in his own problems that he hadn't even considered what Lilith had truly wanted with Clary.

" _Why?"_ He remembered her choke out, the blood sliding down her gear as she looked at him with betrayal. It was something that he would never forget, no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." _Sorry doesn't change anything. Sorry doesn't change the past, sorry doesn't change the future. If sorry doesn't change anything, then if I do something else, can I rewrite the past to create my own path to the future?_

 _No, that's not possible. I can't change the past…but I can change the future._

 **(None Of what comes next is a fact from TMI, TDA or TID)** _Demon's blood from the most powerful demon alive. Lilith's blood made me immortal._ "Maybe…" Clary was already dead. He could risk it, but he could also kill himself in the process. _Better to die for her than to live on in hiding and shame._

Sebastian pulled the seraph blade from her hand. She must've gotten it back before she got stabbed in the back…literally.

He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. He wanted to shut out the pain, to forget that she ever meant anything to him…but she didn't mean anything, did she? No, that was a lie.

Clary was everything to him. She was everything and more. She was heaven and hell, the connection between Nephilim and his demon blood.

That was why he held his palm wide open as he cut his skin with the seraph blade, closing his mouth so he wouldn't show his pain. His demon's blood reacted to it and his skin was cut open, even though he was Nephilim, his demon's blood ruled over his angel's blood, which made his blood the perfect mix of demon blood and angel's blood to heal Clary. The demon blood would burn away the demon poison in her system, and the angel blood would heal her…hopefully.

He lifted her shirt up slowly, letting his unnaturally colored blood drop onto the hole in her stomach.

Slowly, he began to lose hope. Slowly, he started to realize that not everything can be undone.

"Sebastian…" He heard a soft voice say, and he shifted his gaze to Clary, who was still motionless.

But then a miracle happened. Her fingers twitched and he heard the voice again. "Sebastian…please help me."

 **There you have it. The epic conclusion is coming very sooooon. I've already written the next chapter, I just have to edit it. Love you all and I'll see you probably at the end of this week for the best conclusion I think I've ever written** **!**

 **Sooooo excited!**

 **~Sara(Queen of Cliffhangers! *winks at gymratangie*)**


	17. Reunited

**I apologize for the last chapter being so short, I'll make it up to you guys in this final chapter! Oh my gosh, it makes me so sad to think that this is over. Still, there's the sequel(I'm so excited for that!).**

 **Enjoy the last chapter! *cries internally* there will be a speech at the end.**

 **~Sara**

 **Clary**

She opened her eyes, and suddenly she was in a different place. She looked up above her and saw darkness. Had she gone blind, or was she in a dark room? Or was she hell? Or Heaven? Or simply stuck in between?

So she said the first thing that came into her mind…the last thing she remembered. "Sebastian…please help me."

She tried to open her eyes, but they wouldn't open. She felt an immense pain in her stomach region and whimpered in pain as she tried to move. "Sebastian." She felt the familiar burn of a rune on her skin. Her eyes were finally able to open. _An iratze,_ she figured out. Sebastian's face came into view, his green eyes shining with what seemed to be tears. "You're…crying?" She said with a wonder in her voice.

"Why are you asking me anything? Why are you even talking to me?" His voice was full of guilt. She did remember. " _Why?" She'd asked with a broken heart. "Why?" She'd asked, confused, frustrated and with pain. "Why?" She'd asked one more time, losing hope as she ran out of air._ "If you don't remember, I won't forgive myself for-

"Sebastian!" She snapped, not wanting to hear anymore of it.

"Why are you-

"Sebastian, I remember, and I-" She took in a deep breath and softened her voice a little bit when she looked at Sebastian's face once more. "I…I forgive you."

"But why?"

"There is no _why_ or _what if,_ there's only you and me, and how I feel about you, Sebastian. Because…Because I love you, Sebastian. I was afraid to admit it to myself because I was afraid. Afraid of what people would say, afraid of what-What Alec might've though, afraid to love you, but the truth is that my feelings for you, they-they haven't gone away. It scares me to admit this but I do. I love you. What matter is that I love you, and I would forgive you no matter what you did, because I _love_ you."

Sebastian seemed shocked, and almost confused at what Clary had just said to him. "I've been afraid all my life, but I'm not when I'm with you. I always feel like I don't belong anywhere, not quite Shadowhunter, not quite demon. But when you're around, you make me feel like I'm supposed to be here, like I finally belong. I know where I belong now. I belong with you, and if that's okay…" Clary held out her hand for him to take. "Then I want to belong with you, because you're the only person I've ever loved. I was an outcast at birth, a demon used me, and you were kind to me, no matter what horrible thing I did. I love you too."

Clary finally let go of the restraints that held her back from loving him. She let her heart go and fall into his arms, so that she was finally his and only his, and he was hers and only hers. She felt the dam that had held them back from each other finally awake, causing a flood of their love and only their love. She leaned in, closer and closer to him until their lips finally touched.

It felt like everything was finally perfect, if only for just a moment. Every little piece of the puzzle that was her heart was finally together, totally repaired. Their lips only touched for a moment, but as soon as that happened, it was like the force of gravity had been changed and they were being pulled closer and closer together. They could only feel each other; it felt as if the only people in the world were just Clary and Sebastian, Sebastian and Clary.

But that only lasted for a moment. It felt like minutes, no, hours. No, forever. It felt like they were meant to be, like when they were with each other, the stars of love were aligned perfectly and just for them.

Clary suddenly gasped as she realized what was wrong with her stomach. Sebastian quickly let go, and the happiness that was right there only seconds ago was replaced with anger, confusion, grief, and pain. "What-I-Wait-What-I don't understand-what happened?" Clary managed to stutter.

"They-

"I lost it, didn't I?" Clary said softly. "I was so stupid, getting lost in here. By the angel, I've been here for six months. Chris and Lily…they must've had a funeral for _both_ parents instead of one. I went after you instead of putting them first like I should have. I let Chris become parabatai with a guy he said _I love you_ to, I didn't help him with his sexuality! I didn't help Lily or Chris get through their father's death! For six months, I've thought about nothing except what _I wanted,_ and I can't do that because I'm not a reckless sixteen year old anymore, I'm a fucking thirty-three year old woman who can't put her family first or even hold _herself_ together and I-" She started to cry in Sebastian's arms. "I'm a horrible person."

"You didn't…lose them…" Sebastian said quietly.

" _Them?_ " The confusion was clear in Clary's voice. She had no idea what he was talking about.

Sebastian nodded slowly. "Them."

"Okay then," Clary said in a nervous tone. "What did Lilith mean, _her_ grandchildren and _her_ part-demon disciples?"

"She meant…she can take control of me, Clary. She'll take control of me whenever she wants to, she'll do whatever she wants to get her way, you know that. S-She did that once, nine months ago and Lilith sent me into your dreams." Clary started to draw her own conclusions but shut her mouth in hopes of it not being true. She hoped that what she was thinking was not reality. She remembered those dreams. She remembered the desire and the happiness of them, but she didn't think they were real. But did she really understand the difference between dreams and reality anymore? "When you fell asleep, I haunted your nightmares, right? She changed dreams and reality for just a moment, and-

"She made you…" Clary started quietly, but grew louder as she continued. "She made you…get me pregnant?"

"Well, kind of-

"It all makes sense now. Why you finally decided to show your face, why you told me you loved me! You used me!"

"Clary, I swear it wasn't me, it was Lilith-

"Lilith this, Lilith that. The blame almost always goes to her. What about betraying me? Was that Lilith, too?"

"Yes! Yes, Clary, yes. I didn't want to be gone, I didn't want to leave you. Do you know how hard it was to get back here? All I've ever thought about for the past 17 years is you! I had to stay and watch when you fell in love with _Alec_ -" His voice had a hint of jealousy in it, but he continued, the pain overshadowing the jealousy. "You had kids, you were so in love. I couldn't come back. It would have only hurt you."

"I would have-

"You _would have_ what? You would've _helped_ me? But would you say " _I love you,"_ the way you did minutes ago? No, no you wouldn't. I'm a replacement, a bandaid over the emptiness of your heart." Sebastian cried. "Do you know what it's like to watch the person you've loved for seventeen years fall in love all over again with somebody else?"

"I meant what I said earlier, Sebastian!" Tears were falling down her face. "I love you, and you aren't a replacement. I loved Alec, but I also love you, and that's something that you have to understand."

Sebastian opened his mouth and closed it multiple times, not knowing what to say. "I love you, but I-I can't do this." He took her hands off of him, his fingers trembling. "Let's just…save them and get the fuck out of here."

Clary knew what he meant by _them._ "F-Fine, Sebastian." Picking up the pieces of her heart, she grabbed her stele and seraph blade and turned back around to face him. "What's Lilith planning on doing with them?"

"She's going to do the same thing she did to me. Make them into her disciples."

"But why _them?_ "

"They have more angel blood than a normal Shadowhunter, because of both you and Alec, but the greater demon blood makes them a perfect angel and demon hybrid, unlike me, because I have more demon blood than angel blood."

Clary's mouth was wide open. "I…" She didn't know what to say. "She's gonna make them into her weapons? How _dare_ she? She herself said that I beat her once, and I can beat her again, and I swear by the angel that when I see her, I will do anything I can to make her _hurt_ like I have."

"Lilith's still up there." Sebastian pointed towards the cliff that they'd fallen from earlier. "If we use use the awareness, clarity, courage in combat, endurance, fearless, sure-footed and sure-strike rune, then we should at least have the strength to beat her."

"Alright." Clary said, gripping her stele tightly, focusing on what she needed to get done. If she didn't do this, two innocent children would be turned into monsters. "Take off your shirt."

"I told you that we can't-

"Relax, idiot. I'm going to draw the runes."

"Alright, I-I trust you." He took off his bloodied shirt quickly and stood still, letting the shirt fall to the ground. Clary once again saw the scars on his back, so much whiter than his pale skin was to the point where it made his skin look tan. Clary wanted to touch them, but she held herself back. _You're not sixteen anymore, Clary._ She told herself. _You have to focus._

Pressing the tip of the stele against his back, she began to draw marks on his skin. They burned red on Sebastian's skin, a sign of his demon's blood. It was practically a miracle that he could bare the pain. There was blood rolling down his back now, but Clary forced herself to not look at it. Instead of drawing the next rune, she drew an iratze.

"Just draw the runes, Clary. An iratze barely helps me anyways."

"Even if it only helps you a little bit, shouldn't I try to relieve your pain?" Clary asked him gently. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"Like I told you seventeen years ago, I'm always in pain." He gestured towards the scars on his back. "I'm fine. Just draw them."

After she was done, he took her stele and drew runes on her. She didn't take off her shit, although there would have been more space in her back, Sebastian drew them on her arms. When he drew them on her arms, she remembered back to seventeen years ago when she'd been in that house with Jace and Sebastian, and she'd been so in love with Jace that she hadn't even noticed anything good about Sebastian. She remembered him telling her that it was nice that she didn't have any runes covering her arms, and how the fact that she had flawless skin was something unique, something beautiful. **(I believe he says this in book 4 or 5.)** But right now, he was the one who was covering her arms with marks.

They finally got to the top of the cliff, carefully and quietly. Clary thanked the angel for creating the sure-footed rune. If that rune didn't exist, she might have fallen off of the cliff once more.

That's when she noticed Sebastian's palm, which was covered in dry blood. It looked as if it was cut open by a seraph blade. But how? She was the only one with a blade.

"Surgant pueri puellae daemon. Non solum angelum et daemonium. Et facti sunt oriri erit maxime potens in terra hac: Multum ministros. Et non erunt in te removere tuum meum est et liberum arbitrium. Si tu non sentis affectum. Non amo, ne tristitiam. Sed et sentire iram. Immolabitque ad saeviendum tanta te vivere. Surge, mea sunt."

 **Translation: Along the lines of "Rise, my demon children, rise. I will take away your free will and make you only feel anger and you thirst for blood. Rise, my demons, rise."**

"Surge!" Lilith repeated over and over again as she thrust her hands out at the pool of demon's blood.

Were they too late, or had it just begun? Clary glanced around the cave-like area and saw too little shadows. Cries erupted from where the shadows were, and Clary immediately knew where they were. Utter rage filled her soul and consumed her as she crept out of her position and towards the shadows as Sebastian kept Clary busy.

Clary tip-toed towards the cries and and stopped the moment she saw them. They were obviously newborns. How were they alive? The answer was right in front of her. Angel's blood kept them alive.

Clary had to keep herself from crying when she saw that one of them was cut in the foot. That would be a scar left there forever, and he- _he_ might even have a permanent limp. She looked at them again. Silvery hair and black eyes on one, black hair and green eyes on the other. Alec's black hair, Sebastian's black eyes. Was it possible that each child was from a different father? How was it possible that one had Alec's features and one had Sebastian's?

Clearly, dreams and reality didn't have a difference anymore. She quickly grabbed them and they quieted. She prayed to the angel that Lilith wouldn't noticed that they'd suddenly stopped.

 **Sebastian**

 _Kill Lilith_. That was all that Sebastian could think about. If he did die, he would die for Clary.

"Hello, mother." Sebastian grinned devilishly **(literally lmao)** , letting his demon side take control of him, lunging at her with every blade that he had.

"Sebastian!" It was Clary with a portal wide open.

 **Clary**

"Sebastian!" I cried after opening a portal, the two kids in a safe position around my arms.

"What are you doing? Get out of here-

"YOU DARE STEAL MY DISCIPLES!?" Lilith cried, shaking the ground beneath them and walking towards Clary. "How are you not dead?"

"I don't know, that part was just unexpected. Everything in my life is unexpected." Clary replied sarcastically. "Go fuck yourself."

"Clary, I'm serious. Get OUT of here!"

"I'm not leaving until you come with me."

"You'll die!"

Luckily, Clary had been busy working on new runes as a career. _The Family Summoning Rune. It will summon family with the same rune. if I retrace it on my skin, they will come. But should I do this?_ _I could hurt them…or help them. The only person with this rune is…Jace and Chris. Jace has it because Alec felt as if he was part of the family because they were parabatai._ **This rune actually exists, Clary made it. Check the Shadowhunter's fandom website for a picture.**

Pressing the stele against her palm, she quickly drew the rune. It glowed brightly, and suddenly Chris and Jace appeared out of thin air in formal gear, mourning runes covering their arms. Clary noticed that Chris quickly put a glove onto his hand. She thought she saw black lines on there, but they were probably runes.

"M-mom?" Chris blinked at her. "Mom? Mom. MOM?!"

"Yes, Chris. It's me." She looked tired.

Jace looked at her cut stomach. "What? Where are we? Why did you summon us?"

"Lilith. She's back. She tried to kill the kids." She motioned towards the two babies.

"Kids?" Jace and Chris asked at the same time, looking at them. Obviously, Chris has no idea what she meant

"No questions. Not now. Long story short, I had children." Clary murmured. She was overjoyed, but her fear was much greater than her joy. She felt the guilt of leaving everything behind to pursue a man who died seventeen years ago. She felt even more guilt when she saw the mourning runes on their skin, realizing that they must've been in her honor. "We need to get Lilith."

All of their attention went to Sebastian, who was still fighting off Lilith. He was struggling to keep up with her now, but he seemed to be un-injured.

Jace's mouth was wide open as he watched the person he thought that he'd killed seventeen years ago right in front of him. Breathing, moving, fighting. "Sebastian?"

"Hello, old friend." Sebastian replied as his blade clashed with Lilith's claws.

"I killed you!"

"I'm sorry to say that you were a bit-" Another attempted strike at Lilith. "Unsuccessful."

"Wait, Sebastian? Like, Jonathan Christopher? Like, the person I'm named after?" Chris chimed in.

"You named a kid after me?" Shock was evident in Sebastian's voice, and he was distracted long enough for Lilith to strike at his face. He had a huge gash across his cheek, but he stood back up. "What are you waiting for? Help!"

"I've got this. I know how he fights, and I owe him." Jace conveniently had several weapons concealed in his clothing.

Chris attempted to grab the blade. "Oh no you don't." Clary said.

"I want to help." Chris said softly. "I'm tired of sitting in the sidelines."

"You can't!"

"I'm _sixteen,_ mom. In case you haven't noticed, I've been training hard ever since I began training at eleven, and even harder after I thought you _died._ You left Lily and I all alone. We grieved for you, _mom._ You didn't even tell us you were pregnant, and you ran off to chase after him? You didn't even _care_ that you had kids at home? Or not even _consider_ the fact that Alicante gets more and more dangerous every single day? Do you not care that Jace had to take us in? Do you even care that Xav-" He cut off. "I just…I thought I lost everybody I loved."

"I'm so sorry, Chris…I'm so sorry."

He didn't look at her. He took one of Jace's blades and ran towards Lilith. When all three shadowhunters came together, they could possibly beat her, but not without Clary. Clary gently put the babies on the floor, protective runes surrounding them so nobody could hurt them. She didn't want to leave them, but she had no choice. She needed to kill Lilith, or else she would hurt everybody she loved.

Should she call an angel like she did seventeen years ago? No, she shouldn't risk it. She used her stele to draw a rune to briefly have the power of an angel, to summon Raziel and Ithuriel's strength to take it as her own.

"Watch out!" She cried, watching as the three boys got out of the way so she had a perfect aim at Lilith.

"You think you can kill me? You really think you can?!" Lilith cackled.

"Yes. I. Can." Clary smiled for what seemed like the first time in months as she let all of the power flow out and onto Lilith's chest. Lilith was knocked to the ground, but she was still alive. Clary's strength was drained, but she wanted desperately to finish it off, so she held up the seraph blade.

Sebastian gently put his arms around her hands, and helped Clary thrust the blade into Lilith's heart. Her eyes slowly dulled and shut closed. Clary prayed to the angel that it would be the last time.

 _I swear to the angel that if I see Lilith again, I will be the one to kill her._

At last, she was reunited with her family.

Sebastian gestured to the babies. "What are you going to name them?"

Thinking of Alec, she slowly said "Gideon…" She remembered Alec telling her the story of Gabriel and Gideon Lightwood. "and Gabriel."

Jace's face lit up slightly and so did Sebastian, who was nodding. Jace seemed to notice Gabriel's silvery hair but said nothing.

Although she was covered and blood and she was a mess, Clary was home now. Sebastian, Jace, Chris, Gideon and Gabriel.

 **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sad that this fanfic is over! This chapter was so long yet I feel like the conclusion was just perfect. I'm so happy. The Chris and Xav(Xris) fanfic will be coming in 2 weeks I believe, and I will post a sneak peek chapter on here next week along with Ty/Kit and Mark/Kieran and possibly another Clary/Sebastian story. I love you all for being so kind and generous with your reviews. Thank you for the 1000+ views, I love you. :)**

 **First of all, I want to individually thank some people.**

 **Ruth M: I want to thank you so much for being there since the beginning back when my chapters were 500 words long and sloppily wittten/barely edited until now. You're the kindest human being and you really helped me continue writing throughout when I was struggling with mental health and other things. I want to also thank you practically coming up with this whole fanfic idea. You're the best and I hope you read my stories in the future. Go Clabastian!**

 **Lullaby baby rock a by bye: First of all, My Little Sister, Joy of my Life is the best fanfic I've read, hands down. It's so beautifully written and touching and I just want anybody reading this to go check it out please. Lullaby, you are another writer and you are really somebody I look up to and consider my friend. You've also been here from the beginning of the "Unexpected Stories" and you've constantly supported and inspired me throughout the roller coaster that is this story. Thank you.**

 **Horses8: I don't even know what to say. You came up with the wonderful ship name that is Xris and immediately after that I think we hit it off. Reading QoAaD at the same time was very fun as we got to rant about random crap, which was fun. Thanks for being amazingly hilarious, kind and helpful, not only with fanfiction but with real life situations as well. Thanks for being such a great reader and friend. Xris=OTP**

 **I also want to thank these people:**

 **Bribri1300**

 **gymratangie**

 **jenniferebeling5**

 **ollierkyle**

 **Klary FairWood**

 **I love you and can't wait to write more! Thank you, thank you thank you!**

 **~Sara**


	18. Sneak Peak!

**Hey guys! This is a sneak peak of the Chris and Xavier fanfic, "Not Whole Without You." The title isn't fully decided yet, so please give me your thoughts! Anyways, enjoy the sneak peaks because there's going to be a lot of them this week.**

 _Brother Zachariah was across the room, and now was the time for Xav to ask him._

" _The more the pair surrenders to their emotions and love for one another, the stronger the curse gets and affects them," Brother Zachariah had told Xav when he'd asked him. "Their runes will be stronger than any other, and their runes will begin to burn with heavenly fire and black lines will spread across their skin."_

" _What happens after that?" Xav had asked uneasily. "What happens?" His hands were hidden behind his back._

" _Why are you so curious about this?"_

" _It's just an interesting topic."_

" _They will finally turn into enormous beings-the true Nephilim. The parabatai won't have control or conscious acts while in that form. According to the archives in the Silent City, the power would eventually drive them insane and surround themselves with death and destruction until they die themselves, burned by their heavenly fire."_


	19. AN: XRIS!

**The xris fanfic has been published, I repeat, it has been published and it's quite long :) go enjoy! i feel like my writing has improved a lot over the past few years, and it's all thanks to you guys. i love u :)**

 **s/13181610/1/Unexpectedly-Whole-With-You**

 **:) Please enjoy, favorite, follow and review if you like it and give me feedback, thank you all!**


	20. New Clabastian Fic?

So I was thinking about writing another Clabastian fanfic like the sort of fanfics where Jace and Clary get swapped and he was the mundane, except I'm going to do a Jace and Sebastian flip where Sebastian finds Clary at pandemonium! How does that sound? Give me your thoughts!


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